I had written a huge post yesterday but had trouble on my tablet signing in, so the whole thing is gone! Oh well, I am caretaker of my 90 year old mother, mostly bedridden, with a recent fall and cracked scapula. After finally getting her pain free and comfortable, trying to keep her eating at the same time, I found myself struggling daily, fighting her to eat, to get out of bed occasionally, etc.
I came on these forums last week, and after reading a lot of them, I realized that I just need to accept that this may be her last time on this earth, and there were things I could do to make it easier on her. So I stopped trying to be her "nurse", and decided to be her loving daughter. Especially helpful was the person who said that they give their Mom a neck massage. She loves it! And it seems to help her mood. She had chronic ear/neck pain, and that is gone!
So a very sincere thank you for helping me to see that I am the one who can make the last days peaceful and loving!