I'm 50 and have been caring for my 90-year-old mother with dementia. She has no insurance, only her SS. My siblings won't help and I'm so tired.

Thank you Carol.

It's generally best not to mention suspected dementia. Does she have high blood pressure or another health issue? You can make an appointment with her doctor and tell her it's for her checkup or to get her medication refills. Then, write the doctor a note ahead of time and tell him or her that you suspect dementia.

The reason for this is that people will generally listen to a doctor, but they hate it when their family suggests that they have cognitive issues.

I don't want to offer hope that the doctor can do a lot to help her if she does have dementia, but there are other issues that can cause these symptoms such as urinary tract infections and medication reactions. She should have a good checkup with all of her meds checked. Then the doctor can recommend what to do about cognitive issues if that's the problem.
Good luck!
Please let us know how it goes,
Carol

How do I tell my 90 yr old mother she needs to go to the doctor cause she won't admit she has some dementia?

we have no new discussion or topic just some legal advice as to what to do at this point to help take care of our mother , my brother wont spend the time or money to do so .

I just told you all that is to this problem can you help us, or send us in the right direction please.

my dad died leaving a well paying realistate company to the family of five, no will . the only boy will not share to take care of the mother there more than enough to take care of our mother how should we handle this the girls do have the time or money to pay for her our mother is over 90 years old.

To everyone with this problem - there is no shame is gettng help. In fact, it is necessary. There comes a point in some circumstances where the caregiver can no longer do the job, There are ALFs, NHs and home care workers, respite and so on. Get whatever level of help/care you need, and let the guilt go. You have done what you can, and likely gone the extra mile of ten, and do not deserve to carry the extra load called guilt.

You should admit her at old age care home they can provide better nursing care to her. Aged care home offer every care facility is unique, they all provide proper want to those in the community when they need it most. You should think about it now.

You are dealing with an impossible situation for one person to handle. Please contact her doctor about inhome health providers that might give you assistance and as suggested look for other services that may be available in your area.

You have to take care of yourself first in order to take care of your Mom! Sometimes the difficult decision of a nursing home is the best option for the whole family. God bless!

No you can't do it anymore. I had the same decision to make with my Dad a year ago. He is very self centered and has no notice of everything I do or have done for him, but the guilt of it all still weighs on me everyday. We have not abandoned our parents! We did as much as we could for as long as we could and as long as we visit them A LOT and try to laugh with them then I think we've done our best.

I am 69 yrs. old and trying to care for my 91yr old Mother with dementia. I am very sick myself and finally had to put her in Nursing Home. Now I feel so guilty, like I abandoned her. She just wants to come home, but I just cannot do it anymore. Do not have the strength and do not have anyone to help me. Was I wrong to put her in the home?

Of course you are exhausted! Please go to your state's Web site and look under aging services. You should find a version of the Family Caregiver Support Program. They should be able to help you find some respite care and even support groups in your area. There should be a contact phone number or email address. Please use it. You sound like you can really use some help.

Also, please keep coming back and reading the posts here. We can't fix your problem, but we do understand.
Carol