I said I wouldn't vent again.. Im trying not to... BUT I just don't know...
Grandpa is being stubborn still on not hiring any one else every time he walks I'm scared he will fall. He needs more companionship just to keep an eye that he basically doesn't get up unless he has help or the "in case moment" Yes, he has life alert wont use it. Hes constantly saying its to late for me to go to school to get a career ( Ill be working wherever meanwhile). Yes, I have a 4yr degree but in nothing good. I want a masters/certificate so I can try to get a job one day where I want. He gets upset when I leave to long but yet he says be with family here and help out my friend and her family because they always help us! So I bet I get in trouble that I left him alone to look for a job and work. Idk how did I end up in this predicament!!! How I was chosen to be there all the time I dont know ( of course there's no other family here or willing to come down ) I love him and if I could would be there 24/7 if I had no other obligations. Why is it all on me?
My sons behavior has flared up again ( he was extreme ...semi calmed down mainly mouth always trouble sleep and ADHD) he refuses his meds that help his ADHD/Sleep Issues/Anger..and yes, his Dr said I can mix one of them in food or drinks but my son figures it out and refuses it.. complaining it taste nasty and makes him sick. So mix his what seems to be bipolar( sometimes a different child amazingly sweet) violent/mouth/ attitude with my taking care of my grandfather/ now father. :/
An adult family member is acting like my son, and now my dad and I are fighting because of something to do with my daughter ( Im not gonna say) and my dad keeps saying he doesn't care if he dies in his sleep constantly... ( doesn't want help to help him live the 6-12 months he has left because of all the family issues we have). So my kids issues are making my father and grandfather more upset as they are ill and cant deal with them anymore either.
Plus... Im a stress eater and have yet to lose my weight I need off! Uggh!!! I am ready just to find a job out of town and take my kids and that's that! Id still have my kids issues but I wont have everything in the mix. But yet, I love my dad and grandpa and would feel guilty leaving them, but its not doing anyone any good! Of course, being broke doesn't help matters. Yes, I have health issues and haven't been to the Dr in years.. bad mix I know :(
I know you all said, my kids and me first.. but I cant just leave with them having no care and me no money or job! Then comes the guilt factor! Oh and will I be in trouble for neglect or abandonment of my grandfather/father? They are of sound mind still according to their Drs as of last visits.
What do I do? What would you do?