1) Durable Power Of Attorney For Health Care...Can a person say what they want done with them before this situation happens? Say before I get Dementia or am in a Coma, can I say what I want done with me? Like "yes, due surgery needed while in a coma" or" keep me at home with dementia if I have money for all the caregiver or I choose a NH"? Without appointing anyone as Durable Power?
2) IS General Power Of Attorney the same as Primary Beneficiary especially with Residuary estate?
3) In the "Rules" I must follow in order to one day inherit the home I live in, there are 10 rules to obey.::( Am I overreacting- you should read the several pages of details)
A) No allowing my kids husband/wife to ever live here
B) If I remarry to the non father of my kids I have options to own the house proving perfect marriage 5 years and he has financial status as do I, If we move the house gets sold and not by our choice if kids are under 19...( by the "rules") or if I dont want to wait I may purchase the home at a slight discount etc etc.
C) Father of my kids never live here or inherit the home ( I agreed to this)
D) It Goes On and on what I must do, if a person or more dies etc.If I die and my kids are over 21 they are never aloud to have a roommate to help pay bills. it goes on and on.
So, I agree to protect my kids and my sibling and my dad the heck with me to keep the house. I have done everything they asked over the years just to be able to live here. No dating, No dating a man who is not white, go to school get a degree, no one lives there, etc. They have no trust in me with my decision making or it seems financially as Im not allowed to handle the money thats left for my kids even WITH an attorney for guidance!!! Which no matter what I chose to have one!!!
So this being said, In my last post I mentioned most of this. I was shocked when my grandpa said" Ill leave you one of the houses" I have kids of course I accepted! But my family is fighting over this with me, and sees me as being greedy because I think some of the "rules" are way of base and hurtful. I told them all at this point I will save up for a used mobile home just so I can keep peace in the family and I can try to save what family I have left. What would you do? Is me saying the heck with the house ( kids education money which is still being left to my aunt as the beneficiary ( with only a verbal agreement that she handle the education fees from it) the best thing to do? The day my grandpa dies, we will have 30 days to vacate the property because in my heart I feel we wont be allowed to live here esp with all this fighting going on. I can be homeless but I dont want my kids homeless.
How do I prove Im not the one whos greedy? And all these years I been caring for grandpa, as well as over full time now. I grew up believing we should mentally and physically care for each other. Where are they but getting upset who will hold the "power" after he dies saying its for my kids with no faith I will keep it for my kids.
Sorry to be so repetitive in my posts, but, I just never wanted to provide with any detailed info so my family doesn't have a fit Im airing dirty laundry. I lost my trust in most family and men, so of course im leery. I pray Im wrong. I pray Im being dumb. I love my Aunt, all my family and have only a handful left and I dont want to loose them over this. I hate this. Im not trying to be greedy but they see me that way because I dont agree on everything they say!
Anywho thanks again :)
Oh, this is an old thread! Wow. I wonder how things are with you now? Garden Artist had a good starting idea, mine is for you to go to counseling. Your relatives may be awful (I can relate!) but you can control who YOU are, and how you deal with life. What are you teaching your children? Show them Grace, Fortitude, Love. Don't teach them that the only way out is through a handout, and DON'T teach them that people who don't respond to your concerns are terrible. It never worked for me! Seek out any community services, womens' services, free or sliding scale. Best wishes.