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Let me take a stab at this and hope that someone else will come along with more precise answers on some of the questions.

1. A Durable Power of Attorney addresses financial and legal issues. A Health Care POA a/k/a Health Care Proxy, a/k/a Living Will and probably a/k/a other titles addresses medical care that you may or may not want and may refuse.

When I drafted mine, I included a provision not to be kept alive if I became paralyzed. Of course, that was my intention, I didn't hire an attorney, so I'm not sure if an attorney would include such a provision. But it was my wish.

2. Got me on this one. I'm not even sure what a GPOA is in relation to a beneficiary. I'm not sure I've even seen a "Primary Beneficiary" designation in EP dox.

3. Rules - whose and what rules? Were these created by whoever holds the assets you may inherit? Who owns the home and how is it titled? Is the bequest in a Will or Trust? I don't know where the "several pages of details are" but that does sound like a lot of reading.

Honestly it seems to me that someone is going out of his/her way to create obstacles so eggregious that you won't want the house. And if it were me, I'd refuse to agree to anything that restrictive. But the question is whether you're in a position to find another place to live and whether or not you want to be literally tied up and legally trussed like a Thanksgiving turkey in order to inherit the house.

I don't know of any specific way to prove you're not "greedy" but query why you would have to prove this.

It seems there are some really intense family dynamics going on here and you're being put on the defensive, and that these dynamics are complicating a lot of relationships and personal issues.

Perhaps it's time to step back and sort out your priorities, with caring for your grandfather, and apparently soon your father, and put aside the family issues. Let them battle things out between themselves.

It's also time to focus on your life, career and plans for yourself.

You've written about getting a job; I see that you like animals. Perhaps you could start with a part-time job at one of the animal shelters or with a rescue group.

I know of someone who segued into a position with an animal shelter by creating his own animal care service, walking dogs and providing vacation care. That would give you some creds on your resume.
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You can't depend on anything that isn't in writing and is not revocable. My advice is the same as it was a couple of days ago. Your responsibility is to yourself and your children first, so a job still sounds like the best idea. Waiting for someone to die to inherit a house maybe sounds like a very bad idea.
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