I'm done

Pouring rain all morning kept me inside grumbling. Sis came up to have lunch with mom so I didn't have to deal with that today. Mostly I'm wasting time on line. I've had years of practice doing absolutely nothing, I'm pretty good at it ;)

Can you make yourself some comfort food for dinner, cWillie?

Won't that be a shocker for Sis, visiting the nursing home? Is this her first visit?

After retirement, there should be a law.  One that says we will never have to wait in long lines again, especially at the elavator.  oh wait!  There are laws...
Fire Code quick evacuation laws in case of fire. There is a fire escape?  How old is this place?

Comfort food, more like a feast of junk food I stashed away in the freezer that was supposed to be out of sight, out of mind. Nanaimo bars and french fries, anyone?

Sis was here to help move mom in so she has been to the NH before. She thought mom seemed OK today. She also says she is willing herself to find the positive and ignore the negative, great idea if you can pull it off.

How old is the NH wing? I know I visited there as a child and it wasn't new then lol. One of my first thoughts was that this old building is a fire trap, but I also noticed there are sprinklers and automatic fire doors.

Cwillie, If I were visiting today, and I am in cyber space, I would prefer the
PB &J sandwich with french fries. What time is dinner? Got milk?

Cwillie
I suspect your sister has already detached from worrying about mom ?

Milk shakes and French fries are a good combo

Cwillie,
Will you be considering a change in the NH?
Are there any better choices-I guess if there were, you would do that.
Thinking of you.....

Send, I plan to move mom to the NH in my town when a room is available, but that will be months from now. This is the place I was so disgusted with when she was there for respite, so I doubt there will be an improvement in her care, but it will be closer.

Hmm, I've rewritten this 5 times trying to get the words to come out right.... I think maybe my own despair about the place isn't felt as deeply by my mom, I've got to learn to step back and accept that it's OK.

Cwillie, This is hard on you, I get that.
Your words, decisions, the way you have figured this all out makes perfect sense.

I know you have eyes on your Mom's situation. I just want to be supportive.
I trust your assessment, that your despair about the place is not felt as deeply by your Mom is true and accurate.

Keep talking this out to gain the acceptance you need.
You have been Mom's hero for so long now.
Getting a little help from friends here and your sister-it's time, it's ok.

See you over on the dinner thread...is there any more Italian on the menu?

Cwillie,
We're lifting you up in thought tonight

Willie, it's easy to project your own thoughts about things. I did that when my Mom was in nursing care too. You look around and all you see is despair and a rundown old bldg. with half dead people sitting around staring into space. I used to stand in front of Mom's nursing home and take a deep, settling breath before I pressed the code to come in, trying to avoid eye contact with the other residents cause I felt so sorry for them all it made me just want to bawl. I never thought I'd see the day that my dear Mom would end up in a place like that. I used to wonder if my Mom was thinking "couldn't they have found a better place for me" but that was me thinking that. Mom never complained. She was winding down her life and if she had been at the ritz she still would have slept most of the day, so think of it that way if you can. Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on your Mom. Keep your chin up!