Dad in AL 15 months and on hospice for past 8 months. He’s 96 and has CHF and CKD. I took care of dad 11 years prior to AL, just because I cared. Now I’m sick and tired, literally not figuratively. I’ve resorted to silencing dad’s calls knowing if there’s an emergency the AL will call. Example: 8:30 pm dad calls, bring something for my lips now! (I had been there earlier). I said no. He said then find a pharmacy that delivers. I said lip balm? ...and no! He gets very sick then better, very sick then better... over and over. I’m the only child taking care of him and not looking for the discussion on siblings, they suck. Dad purposely pitted my son against me by saying he could have $50k when all of his money is in an irrevocable trust. Of course I’m the trustee. I told my son that money is for dad’s living expenses and care. Not to mention executing his will. So now now my son and family are not speaking to me. No Happy Birthday. No Happy Mother’s Day. Very sad. Everyone questions the things I do, all in dad’s best interest and by the letter of the law. As trustee, I can be criminally prosecuted for mismanaging his money. Get tons of unwanted advise. My friends have disappeared... and the life I knew along with it. My husband tolerates me. I cry a lot reminiscing about my old life. My doctor says I don’t handle stress well. Actually, I’d like to see any of my family or friends do what I do... does anyone else ever wonder what keeps their parent here. Why do they fight death? He’s supposedly a Christian. What’s he afraid of? He asks am I dying? Don’t let me die. WTH??? I’m having a hard time looking at him. (Lot of guilt with those thoughts) Did I mention I miss my friends and my life? Somehow God sees to it that I keep on going. I think, once dad’s passed I’m probably going to get some horrible disease and I will have never had a life since my kids moved out. I want to have a life. I want to see my grandkids. I want to travel. How did everything get so F’d up just by taking care of dad?