My mother has been living with us for the last 11 years after she had a stroke and was unable to live on her own. She didn't have enough money to continue paying for assisted living so we bought a house where she could live with us. We have completely designed our lives around her care. Ever since she has moved in, my husband and I have spent a total of 2 nights away from the home for recreation. She is capable of bathing, going to the bathroom and making her own food. She fell and broke her wrist last October resulting in surgery and a discovery that she had developed a pressure ulcer near her tailbone. At that time, we were on 24/7 with feeding, bathing, dressing, going to the bathroom, etc. We now have home care coming 3 times a week to treat the pressure ulcer. This has been going on for 5 months. My husband was a stay at home Dad for his 2 girls when my Mom moved in which worked out because we were unsure of her capabilities and whether she could be left alone for both of us to work. His daughters have grown and moved out since and now he stays home just in case for my Mom. We can't make plans, we can't go anywhere, no one wants or offers to help us even when we talk about needing help. My husband complains about my Mom all the time now. Everything she does seems to be an issue for him. I know he is concerned for her wellbeing but this feels over the top to me, but he says it's because I'm not there and I don't see it. We fight all the time now. I have looked into assisted living for her again and it is more than double her monthly income and I can't afford to pay for her so I'm stuck. I keep having thoughts about wanting to die because I see no end to all of this. I hate going home, I hate dealing with both of them at this point. We have no friends anymore because no one wants to get involved in our situation or visit our home. My husband's family and my Mom's are completely useless. Whenever we talk about the difficulties and stress they just tell us to take better care of ourselves and make it clear they don't want anything to do with what's happening. We are isolated and completely alone in dealing with her. I feel guilt for what this has done to my husband. Through it all he hasn't left, but it is so toxic now. He had 3 seizures a few months ago and had to be in the hospital for several days because of all the stress. He wasn't getting any sleep or remembering to eat when we had to wait on my Mom hand and foot for months on end. Now our insurance is refusing to pay for any of the bills and we now have a massive debt on top of everything else. I just want to quit. I want to run away most days. I have spent the later half of my 20's and all of my 30's living like this. I have no life other than work and home. I have never traveled anywhere. When everyone I know our age is posting pics on Facebook of their latest trips, I'm still sitting at home slowly dying along with her. Also, she doesn't seem to care about how this affects us at all. I feel she has designed everything to keep me close to her physically. She didn't even want me to move out when I was 18 because she was afraid and of course she found a way to forever keep me under her thumb unable to move or breathe. I'm not saying she had a stroke on purpose, but she was almost 400 lbs and wouldn't stop overeating. I tried to intervene many times because I told her what could happen if she didn't stop living like that and get more healthy and it did. I have given up on ever having my own child because I can't take care of her and a kid too. Couldn't afford it either. It wouldn't matter anyway because my husband and I barely have sex at all. I'm in the prime of my life and she is sucking it all away as she gets exactly what she wants at the expense of what I want. She gets to sit all day watching TV, reading books and doing puzzles as my marriage crumbles and I seriously consider ending it all most days.