Hi all,

I’m from the UK, 38 and caring (or trying to) for my 66 year old Dad.

In early 2017, he was completely independent, driving and capable of living alone and keeping on top of his medication (he is a type II diabetic). Then he had a fall, he was walking across the road and his legs just gave way.

In July, he was admitted to hospital for a week after another fall at home. The hospital were going to send him home but he fell in hospital and they decided to keep him in but during that time they did little testing and eventually sent him home after a week but with a lot less mobility, a walking frame and carers 4 times a day.

Dad did start improving when he came out of hospital but after another couple of falls, has started to deteriorate to the point where he doesn’t get out of bed. He says he had absolutely no energy/strength at all. He is now severely constipated and in pain.

We took him to ours over Christmas but he asked to go straight to bed and now can barely move.

I work full time and am his only child. He and my mum split when I was young and I stayed with my dad. I’m struggling to cope with everything, he needs to be in the hospital but they just keep sending him home. His flat just smells all the time because of intermittent incontinence and I’m losing the will to live.

I feel resentful, guilty, sad, down and just mentally and physically exhausted from it all.

I just though that people on here might understand more than my family, given they don’t seem to care xx

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Hi Khousey - I am sort of new here too. Been around for just a couple of months or less. This site is a wonderful place to vent and get advice (or just plain old support).

Is Dad still in your flat?

I am so glad he has carers 4 x a day, that actually is a good bit of help and you should absolutely use it! While they are there can they air out the flat? Bleach things up and help with the smell? Can they do laundry? ( I know here in the states our carers can do an assortment of things to help besides personal care and company) Talk to your drs about his constipation, they may be able to help. Good luck with this, and try to keep your spirits up ( hard I know)

Can he get a paid caregiver?

Hi there. Welcome to this site. It's a great place to share, vent and ask about tips.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's decline. Did they figure out what is causing his decline, falling, less mobility, etc.? Did they do MRI, blood tests, neuropsychological evaluation? It could be so many different things going on, like strokes, medication reaction, vitamin deficiency, dementia, etc. Have they given you any guidance at all?

Do you have someone to help you or access to outside help?

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