First of all, let me say that I do not have first hand experience as a caregiver to a patient with dementia. I thought of this question because so many on the forum have parents with dementia and I am totally ignorant on the topic. I just know that I would not have done well as a caregiver to someone that I could not have reasoned with.

God knows, I am terrified of getting Parkinson’s disease because I cared for a Parkinson’s patient. Watching my mom deteriorate with Parkinson’s disease was horrendous. Thank God, her Parkinson’s was not accompanied by dementia.

Still, as challenging as it was being a caregiver to mom, I feel those who deal with dementia patients in their final stages has it a million times harder.

I could communicate with my mom. Yes, she could be difficult and stubborn at times but I don’t think I could handle some of the things that I see on this forum with dementia patients. I know my limitations and that would have been way over my threshold. It makes me wonder what I would do if my husband was diagnosed with it. I would be terrified.

I realize this is one of my ‘deep thinking’ philosophical ‘what if?’ questions. I often wondered if I had to live a day as a Parkinson’s patient, would I have felt differently as a caregiver to my mom and how would I expect to be treated? It’s interesting to think about. I did try to put myself in her shoes. I think at times she tried to place herself in my shoes too.

The reverse is true too. My parents were not caregivers to their parents. What if they had to walk in our shoes? How would it change them? Or would it?

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It’s very sad but I know that you understand, don’t you? Bet your dad did too. 😢.

It was the same with my mom with Parkinson’s disease. She is miserable. She looked at me one day and asked me, “Why do I have to live like this?” It’s horrible. I couldn’t even answer because there is no good answer to that question. All I could say was that I was sorry and that I wished she did not have Parkinson’s disease. She is so ready to die. So many of the elderly want to get off of the crazy merry go round. They have had enough of merry go rounds and roller coasters.

I did understand her feelings. I truly did. There are times that we question. Go on denial. There are times we don’t want to face another day. Many, many emotions! Sad, confusing and downright heartbreaking, right?

These are the heartfelt emotions that make us human.

Book, I feel sad hearing that too.😥

In one of the very rare moments of her dementia, my mom realized what was happening to her. She tried to hang herself. Dad found her in time to make it an unsuccessful attempt. A few rare times when she was in the vegetative-like state, she would have a tear come out of her eye... And now I feel so sad thinking about this.

Yes! Exactly! Me too. I am grateful for my faculties.

I hope that no one is offended by my question. It truly is out of concern and wishing to gain insight on the topic. I don’t think I would ever be able to handle getting dementia myself or caring for someone with dementia. I would rather die than lose my faculties.

I absolutely know people can’t help getting dementia. No one asks for these situations. Certainly no one deserves to have any form of dementia.

I hope no one feels that I am being insensitive. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time someone took something out of context before. I have decided not to debate in certain situations.

I am open and welcome to an intelligent debate with a caring person but I refuse to waste my time and energy on someone who is fueled by their own ego and enjoys putting others down. Nope! Not speaking to anyone like that.

One thing I know for sure is a appreciate having all my faculties. Every thing I do now I imagine not being able to do it. Simple things like getting out of bed by myself, brushing my teeth, having a shower, reading a book. I'm thankful, thankful, thankful!

One of my ‘deep thinking’ questions. Any thoughts on this?

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