This is horrible! Mom's depression, anxiety and grief are pretty well controlled. But her body is just getting worse.
I'm wondering if we have the onset of Parkinson's here. She shakes like crazy. Even her face twitches.
The pain is immense. The pain killers do little at best. She gets shooting pains in her feet, legs and hands. She can barely stand from a sitting position and often gets stuck on the toilet. I have the toilet seat with handles, but in the a.m. she forgets to put it on.
And forget walking! Her legs wobble and give out. Topped with COPD, a few feet is a loooooong journey. If she even makes it. I bought her a nice transport wheelchair, it should be here today.
She also has vertigo. And Something with her eyes, that causes double vision. That's new because we were at the eye Dr last month.
Her clogged corrotids need two surgeries. There will be drains coming out of her neck after each surgery. I hope I have the stomach to clean them out.
My son's friends family owns a CBD manufacturing company in Colorado. While they were here over the weekend, we ordered her the topical cream and 600mg drops for pain. I'm desperate at this point.
This woman was never a complainer nor crier. But she sure does cry now. She says she can't go on like this anymore. And that's killing ME!
She's even, half jokingly, say's to give her her Xanax and pain meds. She'll end it. Luckily neither of us have access to them. I had DH fill, (and refill) both scripts and lock them in the gun safe. He doles them out as needed. I do not have the combo and don't want it, as I am in recovery and refuse to play on the railroad tracks.
I need to emotionally detach. My feelings are way to emeshed with hers. When she's up, I'm up, when she's down, I'm down. We were always this way.
She's too well for hospice and too sick to live. This hurts so much. How do I handle this?
PCP initially thought her leg, feet and hand pain was diabetic neuropathy. She gave her neorontin, 200mgs 3xdaily. It doesn't help. Since the legs are getting worse she ordered a test for her veins. Ah what's the name of it??? Can't recall, it's a something series. She referred it to Mom's vascular surgeon.
We see PCP on Weds. And vascular surgeon on Thurs.
I haven't brought up hospice to any Dr before. I thought she would get somewhat better. But she's really suffering and PCP is so reluctant to give her pain meds. due to the opiate abuse running ramped, especially in this area. We even have Drs who refuse to give any narcotics at all. They tell all new patient this upfront.
It was like pulling teeth to get the few she'd given Mom, even at this small dosage. Again she referred us to the vascular surgeon for pain meds. Mom might need beyond the little bit she gave her.Which was only to get through until Mom's VS appointment.
I'm really at a loss. She's really just had it.
Is your mum aware you are recovering? I only ask that because if you get 'stronger' medicinal's from the doctor, will that put you in peril too? Luckily you have a great DH looking out for you both.
Can you get the doctor to make a 'house call'? This way he may get a better picture of all the problem your mum is having?
When I am a bit down, I play some music and hoover the who;e house. I have the music up full blast (I have good neighbours lol) and sing my heart out. Now imagine me with my walker in one hand and hoover in the other, singing my head off. lol
I send you a smile, love and hugs. Don't forget to look out for your self at all times.
I wonder though if she really is too well for hospice. She's clearly in a lot of discomfort, and if I understand correctly, it's accelerating.
Was this subject discussed at her last ER visit or doctor visit?
I don't recall the reason for the shaking and the pain. Could you refresh this old memory of mine? If both of those symptoms are becoming worse, that might change a hospice evaluation.