exceptional caregivers their due or even an open ear to hear what we do but are always taken advantage of mostly by siblings who could care less about their parents and only want compensation for being born. Blood rites. Care only postmortem. I'm sorry to have to be so blunt but that is what it is and hope to not get any reprecussions for this statement. But as I said it is what it is.

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When my mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer, the youngest daughter was already living with her. There are 5 of us kids and we took turns to stay with mom in the evening while our sister worked at her job on swing shift (3pm - 12:00) I work in health care, out patient care and my hours work vary for when I would get off. My husband helped care for mom by going to her home so my sister would be able to get
to work on time. He'd go back home when I would get there to be with our teenagers. I would stay the night and leave for work the next morning. There was one sister who didn't work and would leave as soon as the youngest got home from work. She stayed 2 times, 1 night a week. She told the youngest sister that it was just too hard on her, it made her get home late. I would go on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's after that. My mom (of course) felt like a burden and would apologize that she needed help. I finally told her that it was a privilege to be able to do this, she loved us and cared so tenderly for us while growing and I wanted to try and give her the loving care she gave us. Mom died within 4 months. When she passed our sister said to me that she knew I was angry because she "couldn't" help with mom's care. I told her I was grateful that she couldn't; it gave me more time to be with mom. And honestly, I am thankful for that. I wouldn't trade anything for that time we had. What I don't understand is why, as mom has become unresponsive and seeming to be in a deep sleep, would she come on that last day and insist that mom gets her finger nails painted? I think it was guilt that fueled her insistant demand; that it would somehow make up for time mom missed being with her during her last days. And I feel bad for her missing that time and so grateful that she emotionally couldn't do I had more time.

I just want to make a difference; make things easier for good honest care givers but will find a new venue in order to do so.

Almost every agency has a "Caregiver of the Year" award and California also has ways to nominate family members. I hope someone nominates you.

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