Here's what I think. I'm assuming you're fairly young if venturing out this way.
Focus on just making new friends, focus on the purpose of your travels (to study) you will inevitably make new friends in a group of people studying the same thing for a 2 - 3 years.
Some of those friends will become close friends and you can slowly open up more to them, if you feel they will really listen to you and be compassionate.
You may find new 'friends' with whom you can talk about these things, but I sure wouldn't introduce myself right off the bat as someone who has mulitple family issues (Guess what? We ALL have family issues!)
I've been hesistant to overshare with my new neighbors, but as times progresses and we become truly 'friends', then yes, it can be cathartic to talk to others.
Having said that, I let off some steam to my next door neighbor--and she in turn shared her 'horror stories' about her family. It wasn't a lengthy conversation, but both if us needed to vent. For like 15 minutes.
Then we talked for an hour about our adjoining gardens and what to do to make them 'blend'.
Don't let yourself be defined by what has happened to you b/c of a toxic family. You can always come here to vent. I'm on a roll right now b/c of some serious in law issues and this is the ONLY place I can talk openly and freely. Cheap therapy and great support.
My dad had a sad childhood and a toxic family, and we didn't know 99% of it until he was about 80.
Why? Because he decided early on that his lousy upbringing wasn't going to be his identity. He told me, "When I didn't know how to handle something, I'd ask myself what my parents would have done, and I'd do the opposite."
He was a wonderful father and husband and a pillar of his community. More than 300 people came to his memorial service, and we received dozens of letters after he died.
THAT'S what his lousy upbringing and toxic family did to him. He chose to leave all of it behind and make his own path and legacy. I suggest you consider doing the same.
The idea of travel, study and meeting new people is to broaden your horizons.....not to stay mired in your current issues and headspace. Nobody but a therapist wants to hear about sad lives or toxic family stories. Leave those matters here and go off to find new adventures and a new life.
No, I wouldn’t discuss your sad circumstances with people that you meet when traveling. They aren’t therapists. They aren’t even friends. They are fellow travelers who want to enjoy themselves.
Go see a therapist if you want or need to speak with someone.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s appropriate to speak with strangers about your personal situation.
I know a woman who does this and she drives me crazy. I stopped being friends with her because everyone she saw she would bring up all of the tragedies in her life. When I asked her why she did it she said that she was lonely and wanted help. I told her that she was chasing people away and to make an appointment with a therapist. Her response was that therapists aren’t helpful. Geeeeez!
I don’t discuss personal matters with my hairstylist but I know that a lot of people do. Same with bartenders. I am sure that people in this profession learn how to tune it out. Otherwise, it would drive them nuts.
If you start talking about trauma in your life people will avoid you unless you find someone who feeds off of bad news.
Don’t continuously speak about negative things and upset others. You can’t expect them to want to listen. Try to enjoy the moment of experiencing new surroundings and activities.
With all due respect, how does this question relate to aging or caregiving? If you would fill out your profile a bit more it might help respondents have some more context for your question. There is also a discussion section here which is better suited to general topics not related to caregiving.
People travel to have fun and enjoy themselves. People you will meet who are not friends will not want to hear about your sad life and toxic family. They are trying to escape their own sad lives and toxic families. Everyone has a story. Best to tell yours to a therapist or a good friend.
You can vent, or talk about it all you want here. Or, maybe we can help you with some advice, since we are often living out toxic lives with toxic families. But then, some of us can heal, move on....after we talked it all out and made changes.
Well, I'd maybe introduce myself first. Wait till the honeymoon stage has ended.
Don't mean to be flip but if you are seriously wanting to meet new people and make friends starting out by discussing your sad life and toxic family might be a turnoff.
Focus on just making new friends, focus on the purpose of your travels (to study) you will inevitably make new friends in a group of people studying the same thing for a 2 - 3 years.
Some of those friends will become close friends and you can slowly open up more to them, if you feel they will really listen to you and be compassionate.
I've been hesistant to overshare with my new neighbors, but as times progresses and we become truly 'friends', then yes, it can be cathartic to talk to others.
Having said that, I let off some steam to my next door neighbor--and she in turn shared her 'horror stories' about her family. It wasn't a lengthy conversation, but both if us needed to vent. For like 15 minutes.
Then we talked for an hour about our adjoining gardens and what to do to make them 'blend'.
Don't let yourself be defined by what has happened to you b/c of a toxic family. You can always come here to vent. I'm on a roll right now b/c of some serious in law issues and this is the ONLY place I can talk openly and freely. Cheap therapy and great support.
Why? Because he decided early on that his lousy upbringing wasn't going to be his identity. He told me, "When I didn't know how to handle something, I'd ask myself what my parents would have done, and I'd do the opposite."
He was a wonderful father and husband and a pillar of his community. More than 300 people came to his memorial service, and we received dozens of letters after he died.
THAT'S what his lousy upbringing and toxic family did to him. He chose to leave all of it behind and make his own path and legacy. I suggest you consider doing the same.
Go see a therapist if you want or need to speak with someone.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s appropriate to speak with strangers about your personal situation.
I know a woman who does this and she drives me crazy. I stopped being friends with her because everyone she saw she would bring up all of the tragedies in her life. When I asked her why she did it she said that she was lonely and wanted help. I told her that she was chasing people away and to make an appointment with a therapist. Her response was that therapists aren’t helpful. Geeeeez!
I don’t discuss personal matters with my hairstylist but I know that a lot of people do. Same with bartenders. I am sure that people in this profession learn how to tune it out. Otherwise, it would drive them nuts.
If you start talking about trauma in your life people will avoid you unless you find someone who feeds off of bad news.
Don’t continuously speak about negative things and upset others. You can’t expect them to want to listen. Try to enjoy the moment of experiencing new surroundings and activities.
Best wishes to you.
Everyone has a story. Best to tell yours to a therapist or a good friend.
Leave your baggage at home.
Sorry Kiko, just joking around tonight.
You can vent, or talk about it all you want here.
Or, maybe we can help you with some advice, since we are often living out toxic lives with toxic families. But then, some of us can heal, move on....after we talked it all out and made changes.
Don't mean to be flip but if you are seriously wanting to meet new people and make friends starting out by discussing your sad life and toxic family might be a turnoff.