I will try to recap this complex situation...
My brother and sister-in-law work full time and Dad is home alone during the day. Pops devoted himself to my Mom while at my brother's so he had a purpose. Mom had Stage IV melanoma cancer and for many reasons I flew them to my brother's from Iowa to Florida in January. Mom had a few good months utilizing in-home hospice and then in-patient hospice. Mom was in the hospice facility 7 weeks before she died Memorial weekend. I spent months in Iowa and Florida, and Pops and I were with her 24/7 at the hospice facility before she died. Now Pops is a lost soul. He was slowly declining and is now rapidly declining. He flips from wanting to move here with us and staying at my brother's.
I am flying to Florida to go to an appointment with the VA Psychiatrist next Monday - August 8. The Psychiatrist has only seen my Dad once and my brother has talked to the Social Worker a time or two. My Dad is a WWII Navy Vet and calls himself a "people person". He is dieing on the vine being alone by himself all of the time, and my brother said I wouldn't believe how down hill he has gone in 2 months. In the hospice facility I had to tell the staff Dad had dementia and they said they never would have guessed it. Now my brother is at the point of putting Pops in a nursing home or even using something called the Baker Act to get him taken right away.
My husband is on board with Pops moving here, and I am willing to pour my heart and soul into this to give Pops a chance here before going to a nursing home. Our future son-in-law's mother has had Ahlzheimer's for years and he and our daughter our so good and kind to her; our daughter is also a nurse, so we have their support as well.
Pops will resist mightily if taken to a nursing home because he is very intelligent and can be very lucid. He has always said he NEVER would go to a nursing home -- before he got dementia! Pops does get angry and depressed but I only know what my brother passes on. When I talk to Pops on the phone he has been fine for the most part. My Mom always said he acts better when you're around... I have to feel being alone without grief counseling, lonesome, bored, hopeless, is aggravating his dementia. I want to do what is best for Pops. My brother has power of attorney...
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you so much!