I think when you're finally so tired, the boundaries become more clear.

Mother's bday I didn't have anything formerly planned since it's hard to predict how she will be each day. She doesn't want to celebrate another birthday and I don't as well. I just wanted to have lunch with her out if possible away from the daily grind of each day the past year and a half.

We haven't always gotten along but in this recent year with her decline, her guard has come down and she's become more human in her vulnerability. Maybe me too. All is forgiven it seems at times or maybe just forgotten. She was evaluated for hospice last month but since she has stabilized and it seems she may evaluate out to palliative care. Although I have spent a lot of time in the caretaking role, spending a special occasion with her would be nice. It may be her last bday. My only sister passed away five years ago, and since then I've been alone pretty much and I am tired of fulfilling family functions right now to others. Truthfully, I haven't felt supported and I don't want the pretense of gatherings which only further tire me out. I've invited no one and notified family members that might have expected a gathering they can come another time.