I didn't realize until this morning how much the whole ADC/Hospice debacle from last week affected me (OK... I ate a whole carrot cake, but it does have CARROTS in it)
Anywho... I recognized that I needed to open my mind and think soundly before making a decision regarding the next steps with my Dad. I felt essentially forced into choosing a VA facility because of finances, and try as I might, I could NOT reconcile myself to put Dad in such a DUMP.
I REALLY struggled and heavily considered moving Dad in with me, but as I looked at 2 BR/ 2 BA ranch homes (and wondered how we would work with the tub), I knew in my heart of hearts that I would literally HATE having to make that decision (I had tried a version of that before moving Dad into current ALF, and I was miserable).
So, in a last ditch effort, I decided to visit a different ALF that is in the same network as where Dad currently resides. I went in thinking I wouldn't be able to afford the place, especially after touring it. I held my breath as the sales/marketing coordinator prepared to reveal the pricing... I nearly hit the floor when she quoted me a price that was $1,200 LESS than what we are currently paying. I had to clarify that I preferred a PRIVATE room and Dad would need the FULL care package because of the 24 hour oxygen. She confirmed that the price quoted included everything.
I wanted to HUG her (I hope my poker face worked). This facility is also about 5 minutes from my apartment (I moved to a suburb about 35 minutes outside of the city to be closer to my job). That's when I realized that the only factor that had held me back from even considering looking at places near my home was the silly ADC. Now that it isn't a factor, I have a lot of flexibility in choices for Dad.
The place is beautiful. They easily accessed Dad's records because this ALF is in the same corporate network. The place is smaller, so Dad may interact more (if not, that's on him), and I did mention the price, didn't I?
I CAN QUIT THE SECOND JOB!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things aren't fully locked down yet, but because it's a transfer, I won't have to pay community fees, etc. My only concern is the effects of pulling Dad out of his current ALF, but I NEED this option.
I literally felt like a weight came off my shoulders... and No, I won't be at the new place every day. I'm hoping I'll feel less guilty about having Dad in a facility since I'll be so close.
I'll need everyone here to keep reminding me to stay away -- especially during Dad's initial transition, but thankfully, I may be able to gain some semblance of a life. I'll get to stay in the apartment I love. I will remain close to my job, and I know Dad will be taken care of.
SIGH... things are looking up!