My participation in this forum has changed my perception of those of you who just cannot visit your parent in MC, or are resentful of caring for your parent at home because of your family history. Because my situation was different (my wife, not a parent), I didn't comment much on parent child relationships. Now, after reading many posts in this forum over the last 9 months concerning parent child relationships, I decided I would.
My wife was in MC for 15 months and it certainly wasn't all smooth sailing. I visited her no less than every other day because I had to. We were married for 52 years and I am who I am because of her. Every visit brought me anxiety and uncertainty. I never knew what I was in for. Some days she was pleasant, some days angry, some days in tears. So despite my commitment to going and my love for her, it wasn't easy. When I visited, though, I noticed hardly any other MC resident would have a visitor, certainly not regularly. I thought, “how can this be?”, how can families neglect their LOs at this time? Now, having read many relationship posts in this forum, I begin to understand the reasons for not wanting to visit. Hearing stories of poor or bad family relationships, abusive, alcoholic or absent parents, has made me realize not all families are alike in their care for one another. So I get it now and I totally support those who just cannot visit their parents because “parents” they never were. So whatever you find your current relationship to be and however you work out your visits, or even if you don't visit, I support you.