So, I'm not old (65, still working); married happily and self sufficient. Three grown children (all married, two with children) live within the same city. I've provided as much childcare support as I've been able to over the past 5 years. My ex (with whom my kids all have a decent relationship, I think) has recently been dxed with cancer. He's scheduled for surgery; I'm trying to figure out how to sub for the childcare stuff that he does. I was in our place of worship today with my eldest, with whom I thought I have a good relationship, although she can be dismissive of my way of looking at things (oh, mom, you always think it's a brain tumor". Well, having had friends with kids with brain tumors, it sometimes IS a brain tumor sweetie; that's a good thing to rule out). We had "words" today during services. She said her usual "you are SO passive aggressive" (the thing my ex used to fling at me) and after sitting with that for a bit I responded that this might be hard for her to hear, but her dad has a personality disorder and..... She shot back with, "hey, don't go there, you exposed me to an abusive a-hole for 18 years, just don't go there". So, I'm not in a good place re my eldest right now. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts about this. I'm 64; daughter is 38, married with a 6 year old. My mom died this past August. Said daughter was the BEST support I ever could have imagined during that time.