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I am in a similar situation with both elderly parents that I don't want to care for them. I've done a lot for them, put up with a lot of their crap as a kid, and they don't deserve my devotion. I fantasize about going no-contact with them and I have since I was a teenager, but guilt takes over. They aren't close to dying. My agony could go on for years. You aren't alone.
That is kind of what we are all wondering? It'll be easier to suggest ways forward if we understand how you got to where you currently are.
Meanwhile, though. How your Dad sees things is not the only valid point of view, you know. Yours is equally important.
This stage in caregiving, the one where good intentions are just not enough to make the days bearable, is H*ll. I do truly feel for you.
How old is Dad? How old are you? What kind of treatment was there? Who expects and what are your responsibilities.
You sound very angry and frustrated. Those are common emotions for us caregivers. 1/2 of my life I’m angry and the other 1/2 I’m frustrated.
When you cool off, make a handwritten list of your options and the consequences of those options. Try to keep your thoughts in the present. Old hurts die hard, I understand this. But it doesn’t do any good to ruminate over them when you’re trying to find a solution to a problem.
Wishing he would die is understandable, but what are the options that are actually available to you? And what is motivating you to care for him since you don't want to?