In response to a post I made a couple weeks ago, I was advised to look up "narcissism". Oh my gosh----my mother fit all the criteria for that personality disorder!! Now at 69 yrs old all these puzzle pieces of my life are falling into place. If the person that you are caring for is a narcissist, you are on a dead-end road, if you think you can ever make them happy. Their existence is, has always been, and always will be only about them, and no one else. My husband and I have given this woman the ten best yrs. of our retirement in exchange for being abused in our own home by a person who cares for no one except herself. She put all kinds of guilt on me, to never put her in a nursing home or assisted living. Now I realize where my priorities have got to be.

I am so glad you have come to this realization. My mother was narcissistic. I could never have had her in my home. You are absolutely right -you can never make them happy, Do keep us updated as your new priorities get out in place, ((((((hugs)))))

Good for you!

And FWIW that 'promise' that so many elders forced upon us--"don't put me in a home" well--it's a piecrust promise--easily made, easily broken.

I am NOT doing that to my kids. My DH is going through this with his mom. She needs to be in a ALF and is furious with everybody.

Good Luck--reclaim your life!!

You've got it! Start living your life with your husband, you both deserve it.

Yea! You go lady!

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