I need someone to talk to about my mom. She’s living independent, but I know she’s trying to hide her slight dementia and it hurts.

Also, the friends were a distraction on this. After I told them about my mom, it’s lije they r never in touch nor how r you?!! I don’t understand. My mom still does her things just stopped being a friend and will not talk about anything except this politics show and that has never been my mom. If I mention anything real.. she wants off the phone. I live only 5 miles from her but it’s the toxicity that’s making me sick? I used to be stronger. Maybe seeing it 2 yrs ...knowing she will not bring it up, and she stopped the affection, I do.. I feel like a orphan. I do have a brother that lives many miles away however just like when we lost our dad... I was n college, etc. He would call me then how was dad.. yet he lived in the same city! He will not reach out to me when I text him saying I see something today mom is doing. He did that to me with our dad. He doesn’t want to know. So I’ve kearned but it hurts, not to be in touch with me only because he’s made a choice to think his sister (me) will do it and not look at the white elephant.

Thanks you guys! It’s been something I’ve seen and her Dr did tell me she denied memory tests. She had me later in life so.. the “ friends” I icee I did reach out and a few had been there yrs back. They just said sorry and they have no communication now. I didn’t do I thought anything wrong. I was already hurt when I found she was a diabetic and lied to me 6 yrs ago. I’ve dated a few  people as well, but they can’t go there. I used to b extervert not now and I think which I hate is I’m taking on my mom’s stuff and wearing my heart on my shoulder. My friends I knew yrs and was there for them... I shared with them I was seeing my mom act different, won’t hug or anything. It makes u felt like a outcast. Yes a few support groups but not the times I can go.

It's true that you never know who's been on this journey. Do reach out here. You KNOW we all get it. But test out the waters with others you know. I found out that a man I knew only slightly (through his wife) was long distance caregiving for a difficult mother and a  mentally ill sibling. He is younger than me, a trending artist and way cooler than me. But we accidentally got into this topic and I can tell he's even more desperate than I am to share the frustration of this journey. So you never know until you try. At least share some of your story and questions and rants here.

I’ve found support from some people I wouldn’t have thought to approach. My mother-in-law asked how my parents were doing so I told her. She soothed my feelings a lot. She and her twin sister were the youngest of 12 children and gave care to their mother and most of their elder brothers and sisters. She is a pro and she’s right next door any time I feel like talking. She’s showing a little aging but is one of the most optimistic and kind people I know.

So don’t rule anyone out, caregiving is not a usual topic of conversation and so we’re unaware that others around us have ‘been there’.

Teaching, you are more than happy to join us here on the forums of Aging Care as we will give you emotional support. I have learned so much in my 4 years that I have been here :)

I found trying to find a nearby support group is difficult, mainly because caregivers find it hard to schedule time to be at a meeting. One thing you can do is call your County agency on aging to see if they have a list of groups.