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My 34vyr old daughter helps me during the day and night. I used to get up and back in bed by myself, but about 40 days ago edema got worse AND I also experienced a groin pull so, now need help every 4 hours at night. My daughter is getting exhausted by night help she has to provide. We are working on getting lower bed and a power lift recliner for living room. So I can do more myself. My husband is 72 and cannot provide the liting up I need at night. The bed frame I bought from mattress firm was redesigned before delivery and the one they gave me does not adjust lower as the one I originally ordered and paid for. They will take it all back give me different bed frame and mattress, but the groin pull and edema makes it hard to go pick out a new frame and mattress. Already switched out once. Frame has no ability to go lower. I am too tired to go try out beds and power lift recliners. My husband is slow moving and takes long time to do things.

Diane posted in February. I wonder how she is doing now?
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Thanks Alva
i was hoping you would see this post.
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I agree with Diane. If you Kaiser is anywhere near as good as my own, you will have Social Workers actually calling YOU. They will be listed on your portal. They are there to help with these issues of getting care and proper equipment. I would reach out through you doc and ask for social services consult to consult with you, hubby and daughter regarding options. I sure wish you best of luck dealing with all of this.
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Diane

I am sorry you are dealing with cancer.
I agree a hospital bed is the best choice. I realize you have already paid for your bed and are trying to get a replacement for the one that does not work for you.

Perhaps you should consider the best bed for after your cancer treatment as a replacement for the one you have now and try to source an electric hospital bed.

Hospital beds have rails that can be requested which allows you to use your upper body strength to position yourself and offers stability getting in and out of the bed. My 97yroldmom old mom used hers at least four times a night to get up and onto her bedside commode while taking fluid pills for CHF.

In the raised position they are easier for the linens to be changed and for bedside chats or therapy instructions and for turning should you require long periods of bed rest.

She also had her wheelchair through them. Ask for info on a transport chair as they are easier to put in and out of the car. They can be rented as well. We found a wheelchair very helpful at home for my mom as well. She used a walker for exercise and for stability.

Depending on your insurance you may be able to get a hospital bed through them.

Original Medicare provides tbem on a monthly rental basis with a copay that your supplement insurance might cover. You may not be on Medicare? You don’t mention your age. Do check your insurance or a DME (durable medical equipment) provider in your area. You can find those on the Medicare.gov care-compare website. You can do a search by zip code and see the different companies in your area. You will need a doctors prescription but check with the companies to see if your insurance is accepted.

A lift chair is a great solution for getting up and down. Research pros and cons of different lift chairs. Some have two motors and some have one as an example.
I bought my DH aunt (under 5’) one from a high end furniture store that was easy for her to get in and out of. I wanted leather but the only kind I could find was a heavy faux leather in brown. Ugh I thought. It turned out to be the perfect choice. Oddly enough I notice my 6’2” DH likes sitting in it. He always complains recliners are too short for him. When I mentioned this one being recycled, he found it to be a good fit. The important thing is to get one. That’s what I finally had to tell myself. You need it now. You could call the stores you might be planning to visit, get the brands they cover and look them up on line. Daughter might be able to video diff ones for you with her phone. They are unwieldy to move and heavy so a good deal of thought before placement is best.

Please know that your daughter should not be lifting you w/o knowing how to keep herself safe.
Women suffer greatly later in life from things they don’t realize are weakening them in their younger years. incontinence, bladder prolapse and fecal incontinence from lifting too much, too heavy and w/o proper knowledge of how to protect their pelvic floor are some of the things that can happen.

Since you have had this groin pull ask your doctor if therapy can be ordered to come to your home to help prevent more injuries and help your family members know safe ways to transfer you. A therapist showed me how to get my dad up that I use to this day when helping others. There are good videos on YouTube.
Lots of insight is available for daughter online on pelvic floor issues as well.

Please consider pull-ups for the night for the benefit of all.

Get some medline washable pads from Amazon and it will save laundry on accidents. You can get a four pack for $30.



edit
I see you have Kaiser. We have a couple of regular posters who have had great success with Kaiser for cancer treatment. Hopefully they will see your post.
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Rather than a "lower bed" get a Hospital Bed.
The bed can be raised to make it easier for your daughter to care for you.
The bed can be lowered to a positions where it is easier for you to get in and out of bed.
And I have to say, and this might not be what you want to hear...
Use disposable incontinence underwear at night. that way there is no urgency to get up and to the bathroom. This may be a temporary solution or a long term solution take each day as it comes.

You can get a caregiver for nights is that makes you more comfortable. You can pick the time the caregiver is there. Overnights might be a bit more expensive. But it would help your daughter particularly if the caregiver is there long enough in the morning to get you up, showered and dressed that is one less thing your daughter has to do. During the night she can do your laundry taking one more task off daughters "to do list"
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Do you have a bed handrail and a bedside commode?
Those are both inexpensive and very helpful.
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There are solutions but all of them come with a monetary and psychological cost. Pure Wick systems or incontinence briefs can be used over night. You can hire caregivers to come in daily or as needed. Or perhaps you could temporarily move into a care facility while you battle your cancer.
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I have lots of doctors appointments with perentisis every 10 days now and Keytruda infusions every 3 weeks in morning. Getting to Kaiser is exhausting for all of us. Especially morning appointments in cold weather. My husband can go 10 minutes early and get the available wheelchair for when my daughter helps me dress and drives me to appointments. So she can go park and come back. Husband and daughter are with me during appointments.
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