I am going through some paperwork and found his check register with his beautiful handwriting on it. It made me squall. I miss him so much and truly believe that I haven't been able to truly grieve for him since I have taken over the care of Mom including her bills, doctor's appointments, medications, etc. I don't know how he did it all these years and never complained. I wish I could have helped more while he was alive.

I thank God every day I found this site to help me write down my feelings. People that don't take care of loved ones don't understand all the emotions we as caregivers go through. I have had so many people tell me to put Mom in a nursing home. That won't cause my problems to go away; I think they would make it worse because I would constantly worry about her.

I pray for each and every one of you (us). I love you all.

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