My daughter will stay with her the entire time, and I have other family members for backup. I worry about putting them through a very tough time while I'm gone.
I now take a full week off a few times a year and my brother visits more often {she is in a dementia assisted living}..…Mom forgets she has not seen me..I get a rest and she gets more son time! I also thought I was the most important visitor….take your weekend and enjoy.
Your profile states that you are retired and have been married for 59 years.
You deserve to be able to have a break and do something nice for yourself.
Your family will be able to handle the situation at home. Please take care of yourself and a few days off to relax and enjoy your retirement. You’ve earned it!
Take well deserved time off to charge your batteries. A definite Must do. Listen to the advice given here. You are not doing anyone justice if you don't. Never feel quilts. Yes, look into adult daycare. It will help her to be with other people and make new friends! Bless you!
You're so considerate. Your family members are too. They've offered to help, and you should have no hesitation in accepting it. It's only two days!
Your wife will adjust, and her daughter is there so they can have a nice visit. It might actually be a relief to wife, so think about it as her vacation from you as well.
Consider that perhaps this whole caregiving thing has done a number on your brain and that your mental health is as important as everyone else's. My friend was always quoting the Talmud: You must throw a life preserver to others, but you don't have to go down with their ship. (Or something like that.)
If she has a tough time she will get over it. You want a weekend. Two days. It's not like you're planning on taking off for a year or something.
I did homecare (mostly for the elderly) for 25 years. something like 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caregiver to.
I want you to think of how hard it will be for your wife if (God forbid) something happens to you. Caregivers who are in it 24/7 day after day and never get a break, neglect their own health (both physical and mental) and needs. What ends up happening is they get sick and they die. Then the person they took care of who had to have them by their side 24/7 goes into a care facility.
It's wonderful and beautiful that you have such a positive attitude towards being a dementia caregiver. Please, let me tell you something with the greatest of respect and admiration for you. What I say comes from 25 years of caregiving experience with not just clients, but also client families.
You're doing your wife a disservice by staying by her day and night and allowing a 'shadowing' habit to form. She has to get used to time being away from you. Put her in adult day care a couple of days a week. Get in-home caregivers to stay with her, then you leave. I have told this to countless husbands and wives of clients over the year. When the caregiver shows up, you leave. Go to a movie. Go shopping. Visit a friend. Go get a drink somewhere. Yes, it will be hard on the client with dementia for a while. They will cry and get hysterical and carry on. Leaving for periods of time is still what's best for everybody. Your wife will get used to it and you will get the respite breaks from her that you need to stay healthy and remain a good caregiver.
Hi Jb. Please take the time off. There is just no other way to say it. You need respite, especially with all the demands that caring for a LO with dementia brings. She will be in good hands with your daughter and other family members. They will work it out, and I am thankful that she/they have stepped up to care for your wife as you get recharged and revitalized. God bless you and praying for your peace as you take a weekend for yourself.
Your profile states that you are retired and have been married for 59 years.
You deserve to be able to have a break and do something nice for yourself.
Your family will be able to handle the situation at home. Please take care of yourself and a few days off to relax and enjoy your retirement. You’ve earned it!
Your wife will adjust, and her daughter is there so they can have a nice visit. It might actually be a relief to wife, so think about it as her vacation from you as well.
Consider that perhaps this whole caregiving thing has done a number on your brain and that your mental health is as important as everyone else's. My friend was always quoting the Talmud: You must throw a life preserver to others, but you don't have to go down with their ship. (Or something like that.)
I did homecare (mostly for the elderly) for 25 years. something like 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caregiver to.
I want you to think of how hard it will be for your wife if (God forbid) something happens to you. Caregivers who are in it 24/7 day after day and never get a break, neglect their own health (both physical and mental) and needs. What ends up happening is they get sick and they die. Then the person they took care of who had to have them by their side 24/7 goes into a care facility.
It's wonderful and beautiful that you have such a positive attitude towards being a dementia caregiver.
Please, let me tell you something with the greatest of respect and admiration for you. What I say comes from 25 years of caregiving experience with not just clients, but also client families.
You're doing your wife a disservice by staying by her day and night and allowing a 'shadowing' habit to form. She has to get used to time being away from you.
Put her in adult day care a couple of days a week. Get in-home caregivers to stay with her, then you leave. I have told this to countless husbands and wives of clients over the year. When the caregiver shows up, you leave. Go to a movie. Go shopping. Visit a friend. Go get a drink somewhere.
Yes, it will be hard on the client with dementia for a while. They will cry and get hysterical and carry on. Leaving for periods of time is still what's best for everybody.
Your wife will get used to it and you will get the respite breaks from her that you need to stay healthy and remain a good caregiver.