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So on friday, the boyfriends father told me he didnt wanna come home, he wanted to stay in rehab. He told the social worker he wanted to die instead of see his wife. So what happens, i go there at 7 am, he tells me some stuff tells me to leave, he wants to see his parents, brothers and sisters. Nurse tells me hes fine just bm obsession, I left. 3 hours later i get a call, do i want mobilization or comfort measures. Of course i said comfort measures. That stupid nurse didnt agree and called ambulance. So now hes in icu dying on machines in icu. Hes talking to his parents telling them hes coming and the stupid family thinks it means he wants to go to house. Meanwhile hes clenching my hand so hard i think he broke my pinky and wont even talk to his kids. I signed the dnr with no hassles but now my stomach is upset and i think i have the flu. This is just too much.

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Thanks for all your support. I agree with you that a person can decide...i had that feeling on friday when he decided to stay longer. The only thing he made me promise was to finish the book of his life in germany to give to his grandkids when they turn 13. Weve been doing that for 6 months so its not much to finish up. He also has some heirlooms which were hidden from his kids that he wants me to give the grandkids when older.
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I agree so much with Pamstegma here. Tell the poor man whatever he needs to hear to let go at peace. Even if it means lying through your teeth as far as whatever your future may hold in regards to the rest of his family. Can the sister in Germany get here sooner than planned - he might try to wait to see her again if they had a good relationship. Regardless - know you did all you could for him - I'm sure you gave him a better quality of life here towards the end. If there really is any entity that guides our time here, I hope it will let him go without any more heartache or suffering. The poor guy sounds like he deserves at least that. I frequently say that money related to death brings out the worst in people. Second to that, I think is guilt. First - don't you feel guilty for one second in your standing up to his family - you did it so he would get the care and comfort he needed. Second - if the family starts to put this on you - do not accept that as truth. This was not your burden to carry in the first place. It make take them some time to look beyond their mis-directed anger and guilt to see things for what they were - hell, they might not ever see it. Just know you went above and beyond in an impossible situation. If a complete strangers sympathy can help at all - know I am thinking of you.
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tacy, I truly believe that someone his age can actually decide when to go. Wish him well, tell him there is a big party waiting. Tell him it is OK, thank him for every little thing you can think of. Tell him you will take care of things here and he should fly free!!
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I am so sorry for you, this on top of everything else. Don;t feel guilty,, it seems you are doing what he wants!
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