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I kinda need to vent. The leg she had the amputation on. I told her we have to get to your doctor and it was so swollen again. Well, tuesday there is a blizzard where she lives. Thank goodness the new renter plowed her lane. We went down to take her. Thank god! She even asked to go to the hospital. She was so dehydrated and her kidneys once again were not working and the leg was full of cellulitis. They admitted her Tuesday. I actually came back to Wisconsin with her dog and my husband. I didn’t have my medication either. So now we start home health again but I will have to be there at first. I was actually proud of myself for taking care of me. They wanted to release her tonight but I can’t drive late in the day. I can’t believe it but they called my brother. The nurse asked if he could help. I just said that’s not an option. Interesting though, we went by his house at 6 and it was light up and tracks into the garage. I know I have my husband but I feel alone because at least when he was in our family I knew he was there. Any suggestions?

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i really want this year to end. this past wednesday i got a call from the assisted living place and they told me that my fil slumped over to his left side and was just mumbling at breakfast. they sent him to the emergency room. i had an appointment so my husband went and he was sitting up talking away but within 30 minutes he was mumbling again and his blood pressure was 175/100 and pulse 48. the ct scan was okay and his blood work was fine so the er doctor was sending him back to assisted living. i said he cannot leave this way, he doesn’t even know what is going on. so, they had a hospitalist look at him and he admitted him immediately. my husband had left so i sent a text to advise him what was going on. he came to the room and my fil didn’t even open his eyes when they took his blood. he was just mumbling and making movements in his sleep. we contacted the mco nurse and caseworker. the nurse said it seems like a ti or a mini stroke. when we went the next day he was sitting up and then the doctor told us that he had a stroke last week sometime and this looks like a mini stroke but they are not going to take any chances. they put him on a heart monitor for 30 days and he had an eec this morning. my husband had to take him because i am in illinois taking my mom to her appointments. the good news is she doesn’t have to do home health and she was able to get her diabetic shoes today instead of thursday. it works great because i can’t be down here for a week. i am just grateful that she has agreed to come and stay with us while it heals and she gets stronger. plus last week was a really rough one. tuesday was the two year anniversary of my daddy’s passing and my brother cutting her out of his life. but when everything happened with my fil, it brought up all the feelings of losing a loved one. i was numb and emotionally exhausted all day thursday. i just feel like sometimes i can’t take one more thing without losing myself and my mind. i know it’s not perfect having my mom there now but it’s a comfort for me and my husband understands. but i miss him so much. how do you all keep going when you just feel you are ready to drop. i am going to a meeting every day when i can. but again i have that friend who has the means to just write a check. i know i am doing so much better than i have in the past taking care of myself. for example, we got mom set up in the hospital and i had to go back because of the medication i needed and i came to pick her up. It really is so much easier having her at my house than me leaving my life. i still cannot believe she is fine with it. i am also enjoying this time with her and i am very grateful. but i would love to hear from you guys what other things you do to keep your sanity.?Here is to an uneventful new year.
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Staff, the thing is you own your relationship with your mom, and your brother owns his. And he gets to handle it his own way. It makes for resentment if you try to run interference on behalf of your mom.  I'd suggest trying for yourself to get along with your brother, but leave his relationship with mom alone.
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A sibling that does not feel compelled to help is no help at all.  And it breeds resentment.  Try to not have expectations because it is unlikely that he will step up to the plate.
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Riverdale, there is a whole story behind this vent. The problem is really between mother and son.

Staff, I know you don't want to, but it maybe time for a nursing home for Mom. Looks like she is not caring for herself. So sorry you have to deal with this alone. I pray that brother realizes he is blaming the wrong person.
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it was just really a vent . everyone here has been so supportive and being a part of this forum has helped me with dealing with taking care of my parents and my husbands. there have been some great people who want me to keep them updated on what is going on. thank you for letting me vent
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Not sure what you are asking. I am sure you have read countless stories here about siblings who do nothing for their aging parent. It is disgusting when the burden falls to the child who is a worthwhile human being. Perhaps the parent has caused the alienation with their behavior going back to years ago. I am an only child. My mother has frustrated me for much of my life. She continues to now by eating a diet that keeps and puts weight on. All her health issues are exacerbated by this. I like her present AL but in the past year they opened a cafe that provides food heavy in calories. I could complain but other than this this facility is such an improvement over the previous one. I also feel that she is the most overweight resident there. I feel that all my efforts to treat her health issues are worthless. Today I am so disgusted I feel as though I no longer care. She lies about her food intake. I am off on a vent here. Going back to your issue if your brother is behaving in a worthless manner than that is probably who he is or has become. It is a hopeless wish to think he will change. You may feel alone but unless he were to change you are waiting you life regarding him. So I would just write him off as he is unlikely to change. Hopefully there will not be anything significant coming his way once your parent has passed. It is a huge waste of time and emotion to care about him. Hope you have some better days.
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