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I kinda need to vent. The leg she had the amputation on. I told her we have to get to your doctor and it was so swollen again. Well, tuesday there is a blizzard where she lives. Thank goodness the new renter plowed her lane. We went down to take her. Thank god! She even asked to go to the hospital. She was so dehydrated and her kidneys once again were not working and the leg was full of cellulitis. They admitted her Tuesday. I actually came back to Wisconsin with her dog and my husband. I didn’t have my medication either. So now we start home health again but I will have to be there at first. I was actually proud of myself for taking care of me. They wanted to release her tonight but I can’t drive late in the day. I can’t believe it but they called my brother. The nurse asked if he could help. I just said that’s not an option. Interesting though, we went by his house at 6 and it was light up and tracks into the garage. I know I have my husband but I feel alone because at least when he was in our family I knew he was there. Any suggestions?

Staff, the thing is you own your relationship with your mom, and your brother owns his. And he gets to handle it his own way. It makes for resentment if you try to run interference on behalf of your mom.  I'd suggest trying for yourself to get along with your brother, but leave his relationship with mom alone.
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A sibling that does not feel compelled to help is no help at all.  And it breeds resentment.  Try to not have expectations because it is unlikely that he will step up to the plate.
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Riverdale, there is a whole story behind this vent. The problem is really between mother and son.

Staff, I know you don't want to, but it maybe time for a nursing home for Mom. Looks like she is not caring for herself. So sorry you have to deal with this alone. I pray that brother realizes he is blaming the wrong person.
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it was just really a vent . everyone here has been so supportive and being a part of this forum has helped me with dealing with taking care of my parents and my husbands. there have been some great people who want me to keep them updated on what is going on. thank you for letting me vent
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Not sure what you are asking. I am sure you have read countless stories here about siblings who do nothing for their aging parent. It is disgusting when the burden falls to the child who is a worthwhile human being. Perhaps the parent has caused the alienation with their behavior going back to years ago. I am an only child. My mother has frustrated me for much of my life. She continues to now by eating a diet that keeps and puts weight on. All her health issues are exacerbated by this. I like her present AL but in the past year they opened a cafe that provides food heavy in calories. I could complain but other than this this facility is such an improvement over the previous one. I also feel that she is the most overweight resident there. I feel that all my efforts to treat her health issues are worthless. Today I am so disgusted I feel as though I no longer care. She lies about her food intake. I am off on a vent here. Going back to your issue if your brother is behaving in a worthless manner than that is probably who he is or has become. It is a hopeless wish to think he will change. You may feel alone but unless he were to change you are waiting you life regarding him. So I would just write him off as he is unlikely to change. Hopefully there will not be anything significant coming his way once your parent has passed. It is a huge waste of time and emotion to care about him. Hope you have some better days.
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