I just wanted to say thank you to all the kind people who took the time to respond to me on 12/19 about when is enough enough.

Thanks for such a wonderful post.

I missed this and didn't reply on 12/19 because well as many others there's so much other things going on. It's a a little slow now in the holiday season. Actually there are many other posts that I wish I had more time to reply to everyone. Some topics I just don't have any knowledge of, but I still like to give my support.

We share a similar caregiving experience, where siblings are involved. Where siblings are concerned I 99.9999% back the caregiver's side. The only instant I would not is if other siblings lovingly & equally want to share responsibilities and the caregiver does no let them.

There are wise ones that developed the forum and wise ones that respond with supportive answers, like the ones that wrote back in my questions. I'm grateful for that too.

Wishing you a nice holiday season.

Love & Peace.

I will always remember the small boy (about 5) who was asked by his teacher to tidy his desk.. I can't remember the exact wording but this is about it;

"Well I think it is already tidy. I am a separate person to you - so I think differently to you".

Now if only all the controlling, perfection insisting adults could get that!

The (new) Teacher looked surprised... but respected it with respect.

I was in awe! How could someone so young have his boundaries so well marked out?

I have no problem with my DH's siblings' perfectionist streaks - as long as it stays in THEIR homes & has ZERO to do with me.

To them I suppose they are merely Organising Clutter. To me they are Over Controlling. I see it as 2/3s of OCD - not severe enough for *Disorder*.

My DH does cross the line from organising to controlling from time to time. However, this IS in my home & does effect me. I call it out. Compromises have to be made where they can. Is a still a giant PITA.

Rtistnw,

Welcome to the world of struggling to figure out what being a ‘caregiver’ actually means. It’s a lot to process. We have all either been through it and survived or going through it currently and hanging on, sometimes by a thread.

It’s sad that you have a sibling who is a perfectionist. That will undoubtedly add to your stress. Perfectionists are never satisfied with themselves or anyone else.

You sound very humble and appreciative. Your perfectionist sibling will never achieve the peace or joy that you will.

Wishing you all the best.

I agree that this website and forum is wonderful and helpful with so many wise people able to give advice and support to others. A big 'thank you' to all the kind caregivers out there for your caregiving. I am no longer a caregiver (as my father recently passed away), but I am in my 40s, and this whole experience has made me realise how tough life can be for the elderly (and their caregivers).

I learn something new or valuable on this forum almost every day. I, too, am grateful! It's so very humbling...

As some said recently, "at the beginning of this process, you don't know what you don't know".

That's why we're here.

We all learn from one another. As the saying goes..."It takes a Village...."
that is the beauty of this forum. There are THOUSANDS of hours, if not lifetimes of knowledge and information.