I am running AA zoom meeting daily and my mom has continued to stay with us. She was with us from Christmas with another ulcer on her foot. That healed and we tried to let her live back home Because I. was so sick and it was improving. I got everything set up and she was there for a week in February and it got worse. So back to Wisconsin. Then the corona virus hits. Two years ago on the 23 rd she was medflighted and unresponsive from para influenza 3 . Yes, some of you may remember that chaos and the last time my brother spoke to me. Anyway, she is still here and I am afraid also to have her go back but I need my life back. When I first asked her if she was ready to go home in March she said she is scared and has a funny feeling. Well, we have made a trip back down to have her foot cleaned up and that was 5 hours for a 10 minute appointment. Where she lives is in the middle of nowhere and is probably the safest place. Anyway she has coverage for a foot doctor here but she wants her doctor. I think it’s selfish. Anyway I asked when she wanted to go home. Well, the 25 th is the birthday of my brother who passed away at the age of 9 back in 1968. So she said it’s a bad weekend. It’s like she wants us to have a life but then will say things like my dog doesn’t like to be alone, “no one does “ was her response. I asked if she wanted to move to town but she won’t leave her house but she is up here in my house. Sorry, I really am grateful that I am able to help her and I am sober to enjoy this time with her. But sometimes I just wanna cry and then feel guilty. Oh, update my brother is officially back living in his farmhouse up the road from her. I try every once in a while to call but I am blocked. I will say it’s been peaceful but I too am thinking it’s been two years in a couple of days since I talked to him. I am afraid to say that I am a little sad Because of course let it go and I pray for them it’s just every once in a while I think of him. Sorry, there really isn’t a question just I needed to connect with you all. I am praying for you all and all the caretaking you do. I pray that you are doing some caretaking of yourself. Love you stay safe and healthy.

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Thank you for the update, Staffbull! The Zoom AA meetings sound awesome. That is wonderful! What a blessing to serve others like that in such a stressful time. You are making it less stressful for many, I am sure. :)

Hi Staffbull,

Good to hear from you.

It’s terrific that you are doing zoom AA meetings. I pray daily that others will do the same. I lost a brother in 2013.

I have enormous compassion for addicts. I took care of him for a long time.

I watched my brother suffer all of his life. It was terribly confusing to me as a kid and we certainly had our ups and downs but I was the last one with him before he died in the end of life hospice facility.

I feel he is finally at peace. He was ready to die. He died in his late 60’s. Unfortunately, his lifestyle caught up to him. He died from liver issues.

It makes me so happy every time I see someone like you live in recovery with their addiction. You are an inspiration.

Anyway, for what it’s worth I am proud of you. I hope that you are pleased with your accomplishments.

You know that you have done all you could for your mom. Don’t push yourself too hard. Set boundaries if needed.

You matter just as much as she does. Life is full of compromises.

So, if you aren’t up to something that she insists on and it’s more than you would like to do, tell her that while you are willing to help her, you won’t be doing everything ‘her’ way.

Take care, Staffbull. Best wishes to you and your family.

Time is really flying by. You know you have helped so many of people who are going through this chapter in our lives of taking care of aging parents. You know it’s something we are all going to face at some point in our lifetime plus us aging ourselves. I know that you lost your mother in 2017 and you have continued to stay connected to help support all of us during this difficult time. Thank you sweetie. God bless you. Stay safe and healthy.

Two years! Where did that time go?

Me, there would be no way I would drive 5 hrs to a doctor when there was one near me that could have helped Mom. Sorry Mom, not going to do it.

In the end, if Mom wants her home, you may just have to go with it.

Glad to hear from u.

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