I am running AA zoom meeting daily and my mom has continued to stay with us. She was with us from Christmas with another ulcer on her foot. That healed and we tried to let her live back home Because I. was so sick and it was improving. I got everything set up and she was there for a week in February and it got worse. So back to Wisconsin. Then the corona virus hits. Two years ago on the 23 rd she was medflighted and unresponsive from para influenza 3 . Yes, some of you may remember that chaos and the last time my brother spoke to me. Anyway, she is still here and I am afraid also to have her go back but I need my life back. When I first asked her if she was ready to go home in March she said she is scared and has a funny feeling. Well, we have made a trip back down to have her foot cleaned up and that was 5 hours for a 10 minute appointment. Where she lives is in the middle of nowhere and is probably the safest place. Anyway she has coverage for a foot doctor here but she wants her doctor. I think it’s selfish. Anyway I asked when she wanted to go home. Well, the 25 th is the birthday of my brother who passed away at the age of 9 back in 1968. So she said it’s a bad weekend. It’s like she wants us to have a life but then will say things like my dog doesn’t like to be alone, “no one does “ was her response. I asked if she wanted to move to town but she won’t leave her house but she is up here in my house. Sorry, I really am grateful that I am able to help her and I am sober to enjoy this time with her. But sometimes I just wanna cry and then feel guilty. Oh, update my brother is officially back living in his farmhouse up the road from her. I try every once in a while to call but I am blocked. I will say it’s been peaceful but I too am thinking it’s been two years in a couple of days since I talked to him. I am afraid to say that I am a little sad Because of course let it go and I pray for them it’s just every once in a while I think of him. Sorry, there really isn’t a question just I needed to connect with you all. I am praying for you all and all the caretaking you do. I pray that you are doing some caretaking of yourself. Love you stay safe and healthy.