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I'm going through the same as you. My heart goes out to you. It was hard to find a caregiver for my husband, for once a week, but you have to or face ruining your own health. I thought I could get by with every other week but I have to make myself hire her for once a week. We've been doing this for 5 years now. I go to a support group too, but I just have to get away from home now. He is mad at the world and started acting mean to me. We had 2 months of him running away and dealing with that. I was almost out of my mind. He is on a anti psychotic now and back to his sweet self. I've developed anxiety and headaches. Go figure. All of us that are caregivers do it out of love, but you have to take care of yourself.
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You need to do more than vent, my friend. You need to call hubs doctor and tell him about the screaming and swearing. Meds are available to calm him down. And if he won't take them, he goes into Memory Care Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing care, regardless of how "functional" he may be. It's not your job to care for a man who treats you this way, disease or no disease. Your life matters as much as his! Please get him seen by his doctor or a geriatric psychiatrist for an evaluation NOW. Meds go a long way to calm ugly dementia behavior. Call 911 if necessary and the EMS people will transport him to the ER for evaluation. Tell them you feel scared for your life. Dementia patients have been known to kill. Look out for YOURSELF please.
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JD, you're very welcome to "vent" here; do know that the "Discussions" threads below include many topic headings under which you should be able to get out some of your feelings.

Also understand that you mind and body are attempting to communicate to you that the time may be coming when in home care is no longer sustainable for your own mental and physical health.

I am so very sorry for all you're going through, and you surely aren't alone here on this Forum.
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If you can afford to hire some help, respite for yourself, that would be wise. I don't think people understand how hard this situation is until they've done it. You're doing all the helping and then gettting cursed at the same time. Oh boy.
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Yes, to hiring an aide to relieve you for short periods so you can get out and do what you want and give you much needed breaks.
And yes, to having your husband go to an Adult Daycare Center in your area, as he can be there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. They will feed him breakfast, lunch and a snack and have all kinds of fun activities to keep him as busy as he wants. Plus they will come pick him up and drop him off if needed. There is a cost but worth every penny, and if you husband is a veteran or if money is an issue they do offer financial help.
And I will add yes, to finding a local caregiver support group preferably in person but otherwise on Zoom, as there is nothing better than being able to share with other folks who know exactly what you're going through and won't judge you when you tell them that you lost your temper with your husband. Trust me...this I know. My support group literally saved my life when I was caring for my late husband.
You are stronger than you know even though you may not feel like it right now.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband. And don't forget that you matter too in this equation.
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Your daily life sounds horrible and you have every reason to feel the way you do.

Is he on meds for his agitation and aggression? If not, why not? Or, what about for yourself? A favorite wisedom on this forum is: don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. If you need to hire a male companion aid -- even once a week -- to distract him or allow you to leave for the day and do self-care, it's well worth the money. You tell him the aid is to help you. Or, find an adult day care and send him there for as many days as possible.

I know you're here to vent, but more information would give context so that we can support you better.
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I am feeling guilty that I have crossed over from feeling his condition is something we - mostly me - can handle to not ‘wanting’ to handle it anymore. Burned out I know. I now understand how some men just get up and walk away from their families. The responsibilities are enormous, And I am beginning to resent having to be the calm,…patient one all the time. How do others handle being screamed and sworn at… My reactions are instantly in my stomach. By the time I do the suggested breathing exercises or walk away I’m a mess. And then I revert to the caregiver role who intellectually knows it’s the disease not him. Tell that to my nerves..
Thanks for letting me vent.
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I am so sorry! Vent away. What’s going on?
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