His heart doc kept giving him blood thinners which added to scenario and his confusion. His urologist just threw antibiotics at him and dad hates to go get scoped. I have not been apprised of any of this so feel like I have been hit by a truck as I am now being asked to drive him to appts, but not allowed to step in! He finally went in for what I thought was a kidney stone procedure only to learn that he had a tumour removed from bladder- After a week of discomfort he now feels great and he and my mother are happy. His primary care says he is a healthy guy. But I have heard the tumour did invade the bladder wall. We see an oncologist next week. My father does not want a bladder removal and frankly the process would kill him. He could never deal with the care and routine and my 90 year old mother is completely unqualified both physically and mentally. They live alone and love it. So he will not want to do a thing, cause right now he feels better. And I get that. I am terrified of the future, but he has clearly let me me know he wants to stay with his small town docs and just be left alone. I don't think I can ask him to go thru chemo, radiation whatever. He is a private, old school man. I guess I have no question- just has anyone else been in a similar situation with a very senior parent who just says "enough."?