We are adjusting with the addition to our house. i have been going to AA pretty regularly and sometimes that is helpful but sometimes i feel people just want to fix me and not look at themselves. I have been feeling really positive and have been working really hard at eating. I have just been feeling beat down by others at times. That’s one thing I love about this group, you give encouragement and acceptance. I have worked really hard at being vulnerable and finally just being me. I have just been feeling like me being me is not okay. I can be feeling great and I have someone at a meeting tell me everything I am doing wrong. I am a high energy person who loves life and yes I admit that I get off a little when I speak at a meeting but I catch myself. I am not the only person who does this. So last saturday I am at the meeting and I was talking about how I have worked hard at being vulnerable and to speak my truth and dealing with anxiety and I stopped myself because I realized I had got off what I was saying. I said oops I got off what I was saying. So after the meeting this guy tells me that my therapist should do this and I was spinning. Yet as I was walking out this woman thanked me for my honesty and for everything I said. I can’t make anybody happy it feels sometimes and I just want to be happy myself and I am. These last few years have been a lot and I have learned so much about myself and I look at how my relationship with my husband has grown and is deeper than ever before. I cherish so much and I am so grateful. There is so much more to this story and it is hard to explain. I just get overwhelmed by one person saying this and another this or telling what you are thinking and I try to explain that’s not what is going on but they don’t believe you. I have to remember what other people think about me is none of my business. I apologize if nothing of this makes sense. love you guys.

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Staffbull, I’m happy that things are improving with the eating. Keep on working your program and taking care of yourself. Keep up the good work!

Staffbull, thank you for sharing. I understand completely. For some reason it seems like the one or two negative comments are harder to not think about, even when there's a lot of encouragement. Maybe it's because we tend to be our own worst critics. I know I do. I'll lie awake thinking about a critical remark, or an embarrassing moment, etc. I have to remind myself of what you said, that what other people think of me is none of my business, and to laugh at myself too (you know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em :).

I'm glad you are doing better and that your experiences have brought you and your husband closer. That's a huge blessing. And I'm glad you share your experience with us on here as well. I've learned a lot too from the people on this forum.

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