Being immune compromised myself hasn’t occurred to her. She doesn’t believe the shelves are bare, oh unless someone on FB, a stranger, says so. When did that start? Her interest in gossip is over the moon. Peering around looking at the neighbors, nosy, so much so I am planting a wall of shrubs to block her view from one side of the neighbors house. Too much. But she can’t see or hear the tv or when she is being spoken to. Right. It’s awful but I am finding myself cursing her. Not out loud, but this is not a nice lady. Never thank you. Never. She acts like she is a “queen”. Eats the food she has when she wants, at her choosing. I just threw away 3 bags of food because she got out of sorts and would not eat what I bought. It’s what she wanted. Well, news flash, she cannot go out without a mask and I have the masks. My dad was in the hospital for pneumonia for a week, got out just in time before we were house bound. He is not near where he was before and likely not going to be. Not going to be driving. They are “my being here or not” from assisted living -they are not aware of how close. And I have no other life. It’s getting more restricted all the time. I have lost work, lost more personal time, missed more Dr appointments, and no thank you. Just- get me, I have, you go, I need, we want, we are out of... even if I ask today there is can you look and see what you need so tomorrowI can get what you need? Well I don’t know from day to day... Do you know we, me, should not be out in this every day? Crickets.

Oh, well, siblings? My brother went on vacation when my dad went in the hospital. For a week, to the beach, the whole grown up family, and grandkids. Did not tell them until after they got home and grandpa was home. Oh, no, he didn’t tell them. I let them know Grandpa was home. My brother says he cannot sit. And I can? If I don’t go to work I do not get paid. I missed nearly a week of work before the virus hit. And no work no pay since. He did not call but 1 time. My folks think he walks on water, he “solves” issues on the phone, no, he doesn’t come here, climb ladders, clean gutters, fix toilets, install grass, ect, he is all talk. And yet, the port a potty that was delivered, the one my dad picked out, after a month, he doesn’t like, why did I get that one? Me? My responsibility to get the next one? Where’s my mom? On FaceBook. Have they asked once about my financial situation since this no ones working? Will I get help since I am a fitness trainer? Not one time have they asked am I going to be ok. Asking each other about people they don’t know, so and so’s kid, a cousin’s cousin, a cousin who owes child support. It just keeps going. It’s been a while since I have known what it’s like to be “happy” and belly laugh. I am glad they are here, but they aren’t happy. Today is their 68th anniversary. My mom hasn’t spoken all day, my dad is trying to stay clear. She hates attention, parties, a fuss.. but she is mad because there is no fuss. I bought 3 dozen flowers for Easter, 1 for my self, telling her so, but she ignored me, she flat heard me, put them in a vase, no thank you.

so, no no fuss.

I guess that’s a rant, blow off steam. I am not alone. There are sweet people out there. They sure weren’t my parents. Not growing up, not now. Thanks!

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I can relate to this except it is just my Mom. I don't go running over there like I used to. One of my cousins sent her face masks for when she goes out??? She's 81 and I don't know where these relatives got the idea it was a good idea that she go to the store. But since all these things go on on the down low, I am stepping back.
But not to take over your post, it is good to set some boundaries because you do have to look out for yourself and not put yourself in harms way. And a deadly virus is 'harm's way'.
Take care. Stay home.

You could kill yourself if you put yourself out there to get exposed while being a slave to your ungrateful parents.


If your mother is on Facebook, she can figure out online grocery ordering and delivery.

I agree 100% with Margaret, boundaries are needed.

Stop jumping at their command.

Do not answer the phone each time it rings.

You can call on Monday and tell them you will be shopping on Wednesday, Saturday or whatever day works for you. Tell them you will call the day before for their list of groceries. Be clear that you are only stopping at one store and no, they are not coming along with you.

Drop off the groceries and pick up a cheque to cover the costs, then say good bye until next week.


Do not do any home or lawn maintenance, tell Mum and Dad, that they will have to organize that as you have to work. Or tell them to call the Golden Child as you are too busy.

You need to stop enabling their behaviour.

There is nothing you can do about your brother, just as there is nothing he can do about you.

You need to stand up for yourself. You should cut down the shopping (eg every 3 or 4 days) and insist on the list. If it’s not on the list, you don’t buy it. They go without. They’ll learn fairly quickly. I can shop not more than once a fortnight. Making a list is an easily learned skill if you really do have to go without, believe me. Just make sure there’s something boring in the house to eat, so they don’t starve. I recommend plain rice biscuits.

Read the ‘jokes’ thread. You should be able to manage a snigger or two, even if not a belly laugh.

Tell the golden boy brother that you will be moving away somewhere you can get a job, if he doesn’t pay you. He can afford a holiday, he can afford to keep you while you look after his parents.

You know what Shakespeare said (Henry V before the battle), “Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood!” Stop being a doormat. Have courage!

I’m so sorry for your pain and the loss of your pet. Hugs

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