I have read that 40% of caregivers die before the people they are caring for. This may turn out to be true for my parents.

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My father is now okay & stable in hospital where he has been for the last 27 days. Mum has become increasingly poorly looking after him. An indication of her illness is that she hasn't visited him for 23 days & even missed his 86th birthday on Sunday. He just needs to increase his mobility to return home, COPD & CHF, Mum is on the 2 week cancer pathway. Ironic isn't it ?!

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Julie, being caregivers ourselves that seems to be quite normal to push aside our own health issues and just concentrate on on our parent(s). I know for myself I had seen so many waiting rooms with both of my parents, I just didn't have the energy to sit in one for myself. Spouses can feel the same way.

As for your Mom, so many feel, and within reason, that if their husband is ill, they need to drop everything they are doing to take care of that spouse, no matter what. My Mom though she could help my Dad through a heart attack rehab, and quickly realized at her age of 90 that she couldn't even help Dad upstairs to sleep. So Dad slept in his recliner, and Mom on the sofa because Mom refused to let Dad go live in Rehab for 3 weeks.
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I joined this forum when my father was getting progressively worse with his chf, now he also has copd. His illness is peaks & troughs, more troughs now than peaks. He seems very resilliant. It's just ironic that it was my father that brought me to this site and now it's my Mum that's seriously poorly. She put her health on hold for him.
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Julie, I believe what cwillie is referring is this sentence in your post. "He just needs to increase his mobility to return home". I was thinking that same thing as cwillie.
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Cwillie, Uhm, sorry if you're missing something. Who said we had any thoughts of returning him home to Mum's care? I certainly didn't.
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"He just needs to increase his mobility to return home".
Uhm, sorry if I'm missing something but if your mother is so ill and overburdened that you fear for her life why is returning him home to her care even a thought?
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It really is ironic. I'm glad to hear that your dad is improving. I hope your mom will feel better with some needed rest and whatever care is determined. That has to be tough news. Many prayers for you and your family.
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Yes we are looking after her. Hospital is looking after Dad.
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Julie, is mom his only caregiver? It may be that she will pass first. She needs help and respite.
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