is no time left in my day to visit talk or see my grandchildren. I have 1 sister and 1 brother who do nothing to help. My mother is demanding and verbally abusive to me.I can't do this anymore! How do I turn over my power of attorney to the state. Help
It is tough being a caregiver to parents who where once over-bearing and controlling. Many of them never did any of the proper paperwork as well, since they did not want their children 'so to speak' meddling in their business. So it is very tough for those of us who had "tightly wound" parents.
On behalf of those Children who did not experience the kind, gentle,loving, happy, functional households that breed loving, compassionate, and empathetic caregivers: Thanks for hanging in here. YOU GET IT.
I don't think proberts329 was really asking a legal question here; she was itching for emotional support. Your response scratched that itch.
BTW- having POA does not obligate anyone to be/ or prevent anyone from being a parent's caregiver. It makes you legally responsible for decisions made concerning that person's daily living affairs. IN other words, if mom needed to go to a nursing home but refused the court could declare mom incompetent and confirm your election as POA. If no prior POA document had been filed by mom, then the court could appoint anyone to that role. If the court does not find your mom incompetent then a POA cannot be effected. POA resides in your mom until she is declared incompetent to act on her own behalf. You cannot just assume POA. It must be given to you legally by government authority.
When my Mom gets unruly, I am learning to stand up, refute it, and walk out. It's not easy, but you can set some boundaries that will work for both of you. Perhaps a support group or Social Worker at Mom's facility could help. There's probably many here with ideas about that, too.