My husband has been in the Veterans Home now since September when he became violent with me. It was the hardest decision ever, but I had to do it because I was so stressed and scared of him......The person I have loved deeply for 39 years! He has been going downhill, but on Sunday I took the dog to visit him and it was a wonderful day. He actually was able to talk to me in complete sentences on Sunday. My dog made all the difference. He sat in Bill's lap and licked his face and Bill came alive! They hadn't seen each other in 5 months! It perfect day.
But here is what I really wanted to share. A very close friend just wrote to me. And I hope this encourages some of you on the fence to put your husband in a home!
When I was telling you about my sister and her problems in taking care of her husband, I had no idea what was going to happen. I was talking with her on the phone last evening about 8:30 and I heard her smoke alarms going off and she said Bobby had set something on fire. I immediately hung up and called her son and his wife. They live about three miles from her. Clarice tried to get Bobby out of the house, but he was already on fire and weighed 230 pounds. She managed to drag him from his chair and tried to pull him across the floor to her deck doors. Her hair caught on fire and she couldn't breathe, but managed to get herself on the deck to try to get air and go back in to try again. The house was fully engulfed by then and Windows were shattering. They were not able to get Bobby out and it is truly a miracle that she was not seriously burned or killed. Their house was destroyed and Bob perished. We all agree that it was not her time to die and that she have had a helper inside who protected her. She has some minor burns on her fingers and her hairdresser cut her singed hair and you can't tell it was damaged. she was blackened all over and had breathed the noxious smoke ! But the hospital sent her home with her son, and she is fine to all appearances. She says to be very careful for what you "wish for" because she dreaded so very much having to put him into a home and had told many people that she did not intend to live in the house without him. She says both those decisions were made for her. This is shocking and tragic news, but I am so thankful that Clarice is still here. I know that God is not done with her here yet. I hope you have a pleasant week and maybe you can take your dog to visit Bill again since they both appeared to enjoy that so much.
So this is what I wanted to share. Be careful caregivers and take care of yourselves too.