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Whom I dream about almost every. single. night.


At any rate, this other NYT article written by palliative care doc discusses the realities of dying at home vs facility. Again comments. Oh gosh. One take away, reading obits, surrounded by family, no, maybe not.


https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/03/well/live/is-dying-at-home-overrated.html

Segoline I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be such a  big void in your life. Do your dreams comfort you or are they too painful ? I;m sure your emotions are processing and healing  in you dreams all those years of care giving as well as your recent bereavement. It is my mother's  1 year anniversary next week after 4 yrs care giving with vascular dementia and the loss is immense, and so few people get it. For myself I can see how much I had  to release , so many smaller losses along the way ending in this  final separation. Care giver bereavement is so, so deep and that was a big  shock to me. But it does get less raw in time although I know my  life will never be the same. You need your sleep and you need to try to eat , both which I found a struggle but looking after the physical does help the rest of the system cope, Take good care, sending you warm hugs at this difficult time xx
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I hope you're seeing a psychologist (& I don't mean a social worker). Your emotions would be better managed if you spoke to that professional once (or twice) a week. Don't suffer through alone.
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Segoline, so sorry. But do you think that it might be progressing along as well as it could?
Do you ever try to write down your dreams. When I write down my dreams I see them, listen to them, hear them in a whole different way. I find key words in the retelling that let me know my brain is trying to help with sort of allegorical stories, to work out things that are hard for me. That it is actually trying to help me figure my way through the thickets.
I hope things continue to progress along for you.
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I found this discussion from Canadian Virtual Hospice in the early days of my caregiving:

http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Decisions/Considerations+for+a+Home+Death.aspx

Since then our community raised funds to open a 3 bed hospice facility and I think that this is a wonderful option and something that should be more commonly available.
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I should clarify. Sometimes in dream she has dementia, sometimes she doesnt. Sometime, she photobombs them. Mom what are you doing in this dream? But there she is, lol. I am sure this will run its course, but in meantime, weird. Very. Anyway, the article by palliative care doc about dying at home is a good read. The commentariat,sheds light too. Read if you get a chance. Sometimes we think we can on more than we can
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