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Yes, we need more to your story. Are you not working because you made the choice to take care of your mom? If so, then can mom pay you the going rate for health care workers in your area? I am one of 6 kids and I had to tell my siblings (not ask them) that just because I live the closest to mom does not mean I will do everything for her. So my husband and I take her to church, grocery shopping once a week, and then we are there for emergencies. When her dog needs to go to the vet, or when she has a doctor's appointment, she has to call my siblings. Good luck in setting up some boundaries.
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i too left my job i had for 10 yrs .
my pa takes care of my bills so i could stay with him 24-7 .
if your mom could do that then u'll be ok .
its very important to have sibling meeting and see what can be done .
believe us they will not help you or to let u have any freedom . i always tell myself that s ok at least i get to spend every cheerish moments with dad . my sister lives 40 mins away from us and she dont help or come see dad . maybe once a month or none that month . she dont work .
turned me down when i ask her to come sit with dad while my husband havin open heart operation . thats how bad the sibling can be ..
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Denim, My siblings asked me to leave my job 2m years ago, to take care of Mom 24/7. I have always lived in the apartment next to Mom, and as I made a whole lot less money than the rest of them, they felt I was the logical choice. The agreement was that I would be paid my current salary in order for me to do this. Mom had the money, so they agreed.
Unfortunately for me, none of them pitches in to help me with Mom. They all have lives! I had to beg to get them to watch her for a few hours on the weekend, so I could spend time with my husband. Most of them don't even call to see how she is doing, and I stopped complaining and calling them with updates.
I paid a CNA over $2500 since the first of the year, to help me out. I would advise that you get your siblings together, and let them know that you need to have an income. If your mom is living with you, you can receive room and board for payment. Definitely do something about your situation before you are in so deep, you can't get out!!! Good luck!
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Naheaton, excellent point about the siblings. Denim, you might want to consider having a family conference to talk about care for your mother. Get as many of your sibs together in a room, where everyone has to face the issue together. If you can find even ONE sibling of yours who would be the most cooperative and sympathetic, that sibling could assist you in putting together this conference, and putting pressure (If needed) on the rest of the sibs to attend and cooperate. I've seen others post here about eldercare lawyers, and don't know anything about that, but someone else might know whether a lawyer would help here. But you have limited finances you said. So if your sibs are all you've got in the way of help, I would first go to them one at a time, on the telephone and not on email (Email can feel "cold" especially when it comes to sensitive issues. I've heard horror stories about email hurting and breaking up family relationships.) Then tread carefully and speak carefully so as to succeed in "bringing them around". Any bridges burned here would only make your life more difficult/miserable. Good luck.
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Is that 'can' take care of mom, or 'will' take care of mom? If it's 'can' then I would think your siblings could kick in financially. If, on the other hand it's 'will', then good luck with getting blood out of the turnip so to speak. This website is full of deadbeat siblings, I hope you're not one of the causalities.
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