I won't repeat the details, as some of you already know them, but my mother had a stroke 2 years ago, followed by numerous septic UTIs. Every time we think she's down for the count, she pops back up. She has 24/7 caregivers at home and about 6 weeks ago we put her on hospice (at home) bc she had another bad UTI and didn't want to go to the hospital. She rebounded from that with oral antibiotics (has required IV ones in hospital before) and was eating and drinking and doing great (considering that she's bedbound and half paralyzed).
She became short of breath on Sunday and it was very alarming and scary. Turns out there is fluid in her lung - not pneumonia, but fluid. So she is taking Lasix and getting oxygen now. Her vitals remain good and she is eating and drinking a little, but she sleeps a lot and is increasingly confused.
I'm her only child and I feel like I am falling down a well. It's so scary. No one's said her days are numbered right now, but this is as bad as she's been. What makes it all scarier is that my daughter is graduating from college in 10 days and I can barely focus on that. I am also taking her on a trip to Europe mid-June as a present. I am worried we won't be able to go. I am on depression meds, try to exercise, am taking a mindfulness meditation group, but I'm really feeling as un-hinged as I've ever felt. I hate that my girls are seeing me so depressed, though I do my best to pretend I'm not in as bad shape as I really feel.
I am also unemployed-whoopee! I have some freelance work but it's hard to focus. I'm not even sure how I could manage a full time job right now, as I spend hours per week, it seems, talking to doctors, nurses, home care agency.