Follow
Share

I have both my parents. Mom has dementia, Dad has mobility issues. I have called every agency, talked with my sisters about how overwhelmed I am and still nothing. I can't seem to get a break. I quit my job 4 months ago, because it was just too much. I feel all alone and have no idea where to turn next. I can't do this by myself anymore.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
I get so aggravated at siblings being told there is a problem and yet they just ignore it like you never said anything to them. GET ANGRY, SCREAM AND RANT if you have to! QUIT BEING NICE to them about the situation. Mine live 900 miles away in two different directions, (how conveinient) and even act as if I am bothering them when I call to discuss what I am having to deal with. It sounds as if they have abandoned you, so you MUST do the same to them. In my book, all is fair in love and war. When and if they call and ask how Mom and Dad are, tell them they will have to come over to find that out. Do not offer ANY information to them when they call out of guilt or obligation. You do not owe them anything.
Having one elder to take care of is asking for a lot, but taking on TWO? You will be dead long before they are my dear. You really need to hire a maid to come in and do the laundry, cleaning, and maybe even the grocery shopping. It will take a huge load off of your shoulders. With the menial tasks out of the way, you will be free to do more with your Mom and Dad, AND have time to relax.
(1)
Report

BMO: get in touch with an OHSMBUDsman in your area and call a FAMILY MEETING!!

Let them know specifically what you need help with and then make a schedule. I, too was expected to care solely for Mom, (since I work for myself) but it was overwhelming for me too.

After getting a 'third party' involved, my two brothers (who lived locally) helped me every 8 months or so! (Save for a few visits here and there).

Call the Alzheimer's association 800.272.3900 and speak to a counselor. (I don't know how effective they will be for you, but they really helped me and listened to my problems.)

Post here, your most pressing concerns. Just communicating your problems with others that 'know what you are feeling' does help!

Look for resources on this website for help with respite. If your father was a vet, perhaps AID AND ATTENDANCE benefits will get you the help you need. It does take a while to get approved, but it will help you down the road.

http://www.veteranaid.org/eligibility.php

That website will help you determine what benefits COULD be there for your parents. God bless and stay strong.
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter