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I agree. The only people who get it are the ones who've had to do it. I almost want to scream when I hear people say it is a blessing. No how, no way is this a blessing. Not for me, not for my parents not for anybody involved. I'm an only child, single woman, but about the only thing I have is my profession/job. I'm struggling to keep my foot in at least 3 days a week, but there are many days I want to throw it in and quit, because the things that have to be done are never ending. Every time I think I've got it in some way under control, something else comes up, the water heater at my parent's house quits working which turns into a need to rewire the whole house. Or some quack has decided that my father needs sinus surgery because his sinuses are so blocked its a health risk, so even though I think its stupid, I'm too scared not to do it. Another three day weekend that I can't have because I have to sit with my parents because the 24 hour sitters (that I COULD NOT DO WITHOUT, btw) deserve to have a day off too. Its been 3 years. I don't wish this on anyone either.
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I felt terrible when I read your posting. Please call Adult Services in your area or consult an elder care manager. I worked with the latter and it was so helpful. Can she afford to go to assisted living. Should she go, based on her health? Do you have any respite care? Last, there are senior helper organizations in my area, so there might be in yours. They do lots of things, from driving, to laundry, to cleaning. I hope you find some help soon! My thoughts are with you. Trust me, you are not alone.
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Consider putting yourself first. What do you need and/or want to keep yourself healthy-both mentally and physically. Then, figure out a plan how you can still be a daughter yet provide some (but maybe not all) of the care. Consider home health or even a long-term care facility. Also consider contacting your local family caregiver specialist at the Area Agency on Aging for information, support and assistance.
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My Mom takes Miralax. It is hard because all she talks about is "I cannot eat very much" or "I could/couldn't poop". I think it must be difficult for them, too. I just wish there was more to talk about besides food and poop. I am at the point I almost want to put her in a home and bail. I have given up my job, my home, my furniture, my friends and my siblings probably think I am taking advantage of my Mom. I think it is the other way around. I don't mind for the most part, but I really don't have much of a life as I used to have. I have made an effort to make a few new friends. But, for how much longer? Then, I don't know how I will survive once she goes. There goes the income because A&A pays for my helping her now. So, what will I do? I will Trust in the Lord. That is all I can do. Hugs to you Roscoe888
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