I Don't Think So

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I've posted about this before, but I am at my wits end with my grandmother. She keeps calling about having me getting her an internet router for her house and a Kindle Fire. At least 4 times a week she will call asking me if I ordered that stuff yet and says she has $100 to pay for it. The problem is, she wants the Fire 10 which is over $200, but routers are fairly inexpensive. Then she proceeds to let me know that she fully intends to take advantage of my Amazon Prime. I know there is a way to set that up so she can use my Prime, but she wants free reign to my Amazon account. I don't think so, I will not let her have free access to the credit card I have on there and the $70 in gift cards I have on my account. I am more than angry and said flat out that she has more than enough money to pay for the Kindle and router and it is time to get one on her own. I think that they sell Kindles at Costco and routers, but that involves taking a shower and putting on clean clothes. I'm angry that she refuses to do anything for herself and acts like she is oh so helpless. I know I can order what she wants and set it up and not have access to my stuff, but not willing to create a massive argument with her.

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My parents refuse to pay for her groceries or whatever she needs. Between her pension and Social Security check, she gets a shade over $3,000 a month and everything is paid off and her bills are minimal. I don't go with my parents every week, I now go biweekly because I do need some alone time with myself. My parents are mostly just going with her and helping her with grocery shopping and double checking the house to make sure that there aren't any hazards. My aunt in Texas shows or cousins come up to visit her or help out but expect to be informed. I wonder if they are looking for some kind of windfall.
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Evermore,
Do you need to go with your parents each week ? It is a good thing that your heart is in the right place, however, double check that you are not suffering from a sense of over-responsibility for your grandma. Let your parents handle it? Sorry, I don't know you very well, but when I read of your condition, I realized that you don't need this added stress to your life.
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Who pays her electric, cable, phone, medication, groceries, etc.? It sounds like she doesn't have a grasp of reality. How is her health?

I might consult with an attorney to get information on the process if you have to step in despite her objection. They can tell you what evidence you'll need, the process, the costs, time involved, etc. At least, you'll be prepared, if the time comes.
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Delaying the inevitable... well, yes, sort of; but aren't we all?

If she's managing all right with the support that *you* are happy to provide, that's fine. If she stops managing, or the support gets to a level that you and your parents are not all right with, then there's a problem. How much help it is realistic and fair to offer her: that's the discussion you should have with your parents now, so that when a line has to be drawn you can all stick together and stand firm on it.

And research other options so that you've got a head start if she does need to move (your parents should probably handle that one).
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Or this:
"Grandma, you cannot possibly afford it".
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This what I think of as  "Option A or Option B, but there's no Option C" discussion. She either pays you in full for items or does without, but there's no "I don't want to pay more than x for the item so you should pay the rest". I also think elderly parents use prices from years ago as their benchmark, so are taken aback at today's prices. As for access to your Amazon Prime account - use the magic words "It's not possible for me to do that". Done.
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How this:
"Grandma, I can't possibly do that".
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Evermore, from your description, I'd say you are delaying the inevitable, and at your own expense. I've been through this with my father. I spent 5 years being the free labor that was holding together an unsustainable situation that allowed him to stay in his house. I also can't imagine just "leaving him to his own devices" or leaving him to "the system." It may have turned out fine, though, had I done that. I'll never know.

She must pay for things. This is the way of the world. We each pay our own way. Do you know why she believes herself exempt from this universal rule? :)
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My parents and I are at her house (she lives alone) once a week to help her with grocery shopping, doing a couple loads of laundry, changing bed sheets, just general stuff like that. She won't let anyone in the house, no aides, nobody like Merry Maids to come into the house. She refuses to pay for anything. Social Services has told us that unless a crisis hit to where she can't live on her own by herself, our hands are tied. I'm wondering that by going over once a week to do some basic stuff, we are delaying the inevitable.
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Boundaries....put her off...grandma, just give me the exact amount of what you want ordered on Amazon, and I will have it delivered to you, no need for a kindle. (Because you won't have time to reboot her internet, ever, or to unfreeze her kindle). imo.
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