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She came to Wisconsin after her hospital stay on december 1. FYI my FIL just moved in to assisted living on Nov 5. Anyway, I was able to wrap her wounds from cellulitis and get her stronger. We returned Dec 9 for a doctor appointment with her primary. He put in for home health because five days after her discharge the hospital said she really should be at rehabilitation. It doesn’t matter. We returned the 10th and I take her to two stores a day to walk and she eats right. The home health agency put in for an exception and the day we were returning they were approved however that’s when my FIL had a stroke. We went back down this past Sunday and had home health look at it and agreed I was doing perfectly and it almost healed. We got back today, it’s really confusing because she would never leave her house this long before. I was just telling her about my friend and how both her parents at the exact same time are on a steady decline and they have the means to go somewhere and they are refusing. I asked what she thought. Oh well. I asked does your generation expect us to take care of you, quit our lives and take care of you. I understand she raised me and I love her. But it’s just me and my husband. Many of you know what happened with my brother. I live in another state and I have a lot of health issues myself. I am grateful she is up here actually because I can live my life but I don’t see my husband alone much. I am sure it’s temporary and I am blessed to have her with us. I don’t know if I did the right thing but I tried calling my brother and it actually rang and went to voicemail I just said I wanted to wish you happy holidays and I really hope you are happy and healthy. I love you and merry christmas. It’s just hard driving by their house knowing he isn’t there. I think it’s what triggered me to call. Even this morning doing dishes I looked at the door and just saw him walking in the way he used to. I don’t expect anything back from him. I know he will not call me back. I just want them to be happy. I apologize because I don’t think I really asked a question. I guess it’s more of venting and updating the support I have found here.? I know I try to keep up with you all. I want to wish everyone happy holidays for you and your family and god bless you all. love you 😍

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i don’t know what to do about my moms obsession with and hate she has towards my sil. the more i hear it’s like my sil didn’t have a chance with my mom. My mom acts as if she’s completely innocent in this whole situation with my brother and sil. She always says i am still his mother and it’s my sil fault. now she called the neighbor to see what else is going on. he said it looks like my sil is living there now. she said in a joyous voice maybe they’re getting a divorce. i just said to her you need to let go of all this hate it’s only hurting yourself. she is acting so anxious her legs are jumping all over the place. you all know how grateful i am for my husband and i know his job is stressful but he is being short with me and then advised me that he got a call from assisted living asking him if he was making the follow up appointments with the primary and the neurologist or are they.!They left the message tuesday and he didn’t call them back. i asked why didn’t you just do it. you kept asking for the doctor number. so i have to work on my moms statement from the hospital and make appointments for my fil. i can’t do everything.
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I think you are grieving your brother. Coming to grips with this stage of life in general. It is hard.
I am glad your mother is doing better. You are doing an awesome job. You and your dh have had your share of caregiving to do that’s for sure.
Make special time for your very good husband. Happy holidays to you and all your family.
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You took the first step. Sometimes thats all it takes. If you don't hear from him, you at least made the effort. I'd do it again next year, too. If he does contact you, make that a fresh start. No mentioning the past. If he does, just say thats water under the bridge. Lets just forgive and forget.
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Merry Christmas, Staff. I hope your mother continues to improve and that FIL is doing ok. Love you, too! ❤️❤️❤️
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