Mom is 70 and has moderately severe brain shrinkage. I look at her with such amazement that she is going through this disease. Mom became ill, I took her to the ER to determine she had a UTI and impacted bowels. She nearly died in the hospital due to an allergic reaction to medications. I made the decision to have her go to a skilled memory care with the hospital’s social worker. Mom says, this is not me. I don’t belong here. The guilt I feel from those words are unimaginable. I knew the time was near, my homecare person came to work and only stayed for an hour because it was becoming very overwhelming. Mom walks a few steps and sits down. She needs assistance with bathing, toileting, incontinence and doesn’t know that I’m her daughter and thinks I’m her best friend or sister. I know that I can’t physically handle her because my lupus flares more frequently now. Mom has been with me, my husband and our children for nearly 4 years. She was diagnosed with early onset around 2013.
I’m torn with her in the nursing home vs with me and our family. I love her so much. I find myself at the nursing home 3-4 times daily.