I do majority of care, my sisters condem me.


Since my dad died I've been spending every other weekend my mom, my sisters instead of appreciating it, seem to resent it. They feel that I am "enabling mom" and she is using me as a crutch. I feel sorry for Mom she's so lonely after dad's death. It's hurtful that my sisters are condemning me for spending time and organizing things for her. (Like lining up a gardener, a housekeeper, a plumber, taking her to look at independent living, etc. I've done SO much in this past year and I've been happy to do it.) they've accused me of being controlling-- I have no desire to control!! If they would step up and spend a weekend with her I'd be happy to back off.

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It's hard for adults to tell their kids that they need support. They're used to being the grown up and think it should always be that way. And you lost your Dad, too. I think it's great that the two of you are supporting each other. So ignore them.

Or invite them to join you. That way they have a choice. If they don't, then ignore them.

One of my regrets is not spending more time with my Dad after my Mom died. I think that's when he just sort of settled in and became a hermit. I'm just saying that because I've seen what can happen on the flip side. I think what you're doing is awesome!

Sister, you are doing what is right, and don't let anyone get in your way or make you feel bad about it. Your mom needs you now probably more than ever. Stand by her! As for your sisters... keep setting the example for them. Maybe they'll catch on and start doing their own part as well (though, I wouldn't hold my breath). Chin up!

You are just going to have to ignore your sisters. If this works for you and your mom - then that is all that counts. When my many bossy relatives criticize - I have a standard answer "this works for us and I'm not discussing this further". They don't like it because they want to criticize, but it shuts it down. How wonderful for your poor mom, grieving for your dad, probably feeling a bit lost and scared about taking care of herself in the future, that you are helping her get some things in order. That is something loved ones do for one another - help each other. It doesn't sound like your mom is making you her slave :) Bless you.