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hi everyone
i think instead its more like “the instant goodbye that you missed” because by the time you notice your loved one is having difficulties with thinking, they have already changed some and while they still look like your loved one, they keep changing farther and farther away from who they were.
anyone else think this way?

I guess it depends on how fast or gradual the onset is.
We used to be able to talk all night long.
Then the window of topics we were able to talk about started very gradually getting smaller and smaller.
That started a few years before the vascular dementia diagnosis.
Now there's still moments of clarity.
So for me this is having my best friend slowly slip away.
And with a 5 year average lifespan after that diagnosis,
it is essentially a long goodbye.
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It's hard to say with my aunt, but I think you might be right. My cousin started noticing her partner wasn't quite sharp or kept asking the same questions, or repeating himself. She got him in for testing and he was diagnosed with early on set dementia. I'm told he's on meds and he's doing fine for now.
With my aunt, sadly I don't think anyone was checking on her. I admit I did not visit but I would call her frequently. She sounded sharp as a tack over the phone. However, she kept getting into car accidents and other things my other cousin picked up on.
I was shocked to hear. I went to visit aunt and was surprised at the sight of her. I mean, talking to her over the phone, she sounded great and she was on top of the news and other aspects of the world. However, when I went to see her, I couldn't believe who I was looking at. She was emaciated! Then the temper tantrums and crying and screaming. I felt awful that she got this way and none of us were visiting to see there was a problem. We all suspected it happened after her last living sibling passed. She seemed to have went quickly then.
I think if we check on each other, while we can't cure it, we can probably slow it down with medication. What's sad is my aunt doesn't believe she has a problem and will not get herself checked out.
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With my dad, it was not so instant. It's been a slow progression since 2014 after my sister's passing. He was still functioning on many levels, but rather slow with them. In 2016 when he called from his house 3 hours away, and told me his doctor wanted me to help pay his bills, etc. (and rather vague), I remembered the doctor's name and called her office. They informed me, he showed up for an appointment, he did not have, plus the doctor noticed some other off things when she ran into him in the hospital one day sometime earlier. They asked me to come with him to his next appointment, where they did some of those question tests and MRI later, which both showed some brain loss. At that point I decided to move him with us, although he was not too happy, but obviously knew he had a problem. I think with some people it may progress faster, but for me it has rather been a slow goodbye.
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Hi justme, cute 🥰 name. Absolutely yes, but not only this , gradually with aging parent, they decline mentally and physically. One day they need a cane, then a walker, then..... This is aging and what happens, we morn every loss as they happen together, physical or mental. Nothing about this is easy. ❤️❤️
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It took my mother 6 very long years to go from being a sharp, together woman to begging to see her mother who she insisted I'd locked in the closet at her Memory Care Assisted Living facility. For me, it was a very long, excruciating goodbye where I lost my mother in bits and pieces along the way. It wasn't like a light switch was turned off one day and she went from lucid to babbling. It took a long time to go from point A to point B with a whole lot of anguish in between.
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