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What do you mean your sister "allows" your mother to buy groceries once a month? It's your mother's money, for crying out loud! Why are you asking your sister for permission to buy your mother the things she needs? There is no difference whether your mom physically buys the groceries or you do it on her behalf. The point is, you need to stand up to your sister.

I'm assuming you both have financial POA but if that's not the case, you need to decide whether your mom goes to stay with your sister, which was the original agreement, or you get full POA. It's up to your mother. And because you didn't mention that your mother is incompetent, I'm assuming you can get this done just between you and your mother. Your sister sounds like a real piece of work.

I am unaware of a caregiver contract. I never even though about this until lately, my sister has just pushed me over the edge on all this. I was just married for the first time a year ago and would like to have alone time. Can she sign a contract being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she is very coherent just can't be left alone. What I would really like is for my sister to loose a percentage of the family farm every year, she is just waiting to sell it anyway and its been our land for almost 100 years.

I agree with Babalou! My FIL lives with us, now on 11 years, and he pays 600 towards his rent, and utilities, as well as chips in towards food, and this arrangement, while not perfect, does indeed help out! We haven't had a vacation in about 7 years now, but I'm working on a solution for respite care. We finally did have an overnight, last night in fact, and we took a drive to the coast, and enjoyed a antique and collectibles show there, while my daughter came and stayed with him. We just go home, so that she could enjoy the rest of the day, Valentine's day with her hunny! It was a welcome change, and we really needed it! You definitely deserve to have some contributions to your household finances, and some time away! If she won't help you in this aspect, then write that also, into your caregiving contract, it so important! At this point, I don't see where she even needs to 50% POA, if she isn't directly involved in her care, but I don't know much about these things. Good luck, And No, you are not being unreasonable! Just Realistic!

So, have you set up a caregiving contract with mom, whereby mom is paying room and board? I guess not, from the sound of things.

I think i would assess from a legal standpoint jf mom is competent to enter into a contract with you, and if so, get a caregiving contract done by a lawyer than mom can sign. If sister balks at this, i think I'd inform her what terminal mom will be arriving at, and the flight number. You ARE being taken advantage of.

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