Me and my sister have 50, 50 Power of Attorney and control over my mother's finances. We agreed upon this when we found out she had Alzheimer's. At that time everything was fine between us, we as good as it gets anyway. I now know she had a reason for this.
Everything including my mother's care was to be 50, 50. She would have her in the summer months and I would have her in the winter months. She lives back east and I live in the south. This has not turned out to be the case. I'm luck if she even calls to say hello to her. She has told me that she does not care if she see's her, put her in a home on and on. We fight all the time. Its been three years now and she refuses to even take her for a few weeks to allow me to go on vacation. I'm exhausted, burnt out and getting ill.
I have tried to talk to her and she gets hateful and acts like I'm lying. She brings up stupid stuff that happened when she was a teenager, tries to make everyone think that my mother is just an awful person, quite the opposite, she is kind, loving and caring.
The only thing my sister does is keep close tabs on Mom's bank account, I'm told off if I buy her clothes, quizzed on every purchase on her credit card and its so obvious that its for my mother. She barley spends a dime but my sister is so worried over her inheritance that I'm just disgusted with it all.
Can anyone tell me any legal rights? My legal rights? My bills have doubled and some tripled utilities, grocery's, etc. my sister will allow Mom to purchase grocery's once a month. My sister is just kicking back waiting for something to happen to mom so she can rush in and get the money, sell the family farm etc.
Once I suggested that mom pitch in and help with the house hold bills and she made me feel so bad for even mentioning this that I never said anything again. Things came to blows again last night and that is why I'm asking this question. Is it out of line to request help? I'm not destitute or anything but why should I do everything and her nothing? May I add she is going on vacation for the 3 year in a row because she is so stressed out????? she answers phones. I work all day, and come home and sit all night with Mom and Weekends are the same, I have absolutely NO life. as much as I love my Mom and will continue to take care of her can someone please tell me if I'm out of line. Thanks you for any input. May I add, I have been so depressed for a few years I even took steps to talk to a counselor, they told me that there is nothing wrong with me mentally I have just been handed a bucket of crap from my family.
Why did this happen in my case? Because my twisted sisters did not believe what I was telling them about mom and her behaviors. So, tw2 moved mom to a care facility in June last year which she thought would be an easy adjustment. I still have an email she sent a week after the move that from what she read "it will take a few weeks for mom to adjust to her new surroundings". HA! It is now nine months later and I guess mom is still adjusting. What an eye opener for those twisteds of mine. And who is this the hardest on? My mom and her hubby that ended up in the cross fire, and ts2 who is POA finally just beginning to GET IT! And she is not providing the care as I did for four very difficult years that would have been much easier if I had been an only child.