Very selfish and thinks that the world moves around her and only her. I've been taking her of her health for 27 years. She is a breast cancer survivor for 14 years, has hearing aids problem, can't walk more than 30 steps because is a heavy woman with 89 years old and on top of that is extremely demanding. She lived overseas and came to her doctors appointments every 6 mos. Having her for 2 or three weeks was fine, but she started to live with me 2 years ago and I never thought that my life would change that much. I have 4 Siblings and I had her for two years, but before she was living with my sister. My sister is very weak and she abused my sister to the point that she almost had a heart attack. My three brothers are acting like everything is fine saying that she is acting like this because she is old and I am the one with the heavy and full load....

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What Barb said. And follow through.

Time for the brothers to step up. I have to get flat our NASTY with my MIA sibs. They forget to call or visit mother and I cannot do all the extra stuff she wants done. I tried sugarcoating things with these 3 and finally just shoot off an email telling them it's time to GO SEE MOTHER FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN. It usually results in a 10 minute visit from each of them in a month. I cannot do more.

Betcha if one of the brothers had her, they'd have her in a NH within a week.

Maura, make sure you set an ' end date on your caregiving at this meeting as in " As of April 1, I am no longer available to be mom's caregjver".

No budging. Has your sister recovered?

Thanks for your encouragement. Reading to others situations is helping me a lot. I will definitely call a family meeting. God bless you all!!

Dear Mayra,

I am sorry to hear how your feel. I know its not easy being the caregiver to a demanding mother. My mom sounds a lot like your mom. I wonder if you can call a family meeting and see what options there are. I know for myself I feel horribly resentful and angry towards my mother. I try to have patience the but the years of trying to please her have worn me down.

I know sometimes siblings all want to jump ship and say everything is fine and leave the one dutiful sibling holding the whole bag. But its best to call that family meeting and state the facts.

Don't let your mother wear you down to nothing. She does deserve to be safe and well taken care of, but it can't be at your expense. I hope alternate arrangements can be made for her.

Take care the best you can. Thinking of you.

It it's not working out, I'd make other arrangements for her care. Some people are difficult for no reason and others have disorders, illnesses, anxiety, depression, etc. It's hard to say why some people are challenging, but, at her age, I wouldn't think she is going to change. Perhaps another setting would work better for her. I would't let it run me ragged.

Oh good, I'm delighted your brothers have all the answers. In that case, I'm sure they will be equally delighted to have their mother to stay with them, in turn, say four months at a time. She'll be "fine" in their homes, too. What could possibly go wrong?

Bumping you up

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