My dad died a year ago and tomorrow is the first year anniversary of his death. He and my mom moved in with me 5 years ago. She remains with me and her health has continued to decline. She has mild dementia and is barely mobile. She can partially dress herself, feed herself and walk very short distances with a walker. She has some incontinence but we are managing that pretty well. I am just so aware this week that I never got any relief after my dad died, not the chance to grieve for him. He had very bad dementia but was mobile enough. I thought that it would be easier caring for one parent as opposed to both of them but I can't say that is the case.
I was laid off from a career long job right before they moved in and so I managed to put together some part time jobs so I could devote as much time to them as I needed. I miss my independence and my work life. Like so many of you I get complemented by friends and family for taking such good care of my parents but that never really helps. It just reinforces that I should continue to do this for as long as I can.
My husband is unhappy and pretty much closed off. He helps if I ask him but never offers support. My kids are great but they are young adults with jobs and young children who also need my help. At 66 I worry that I will never get to enjoy my imposed retirement. I am an only child without family help. I am rambling and feeling sad and just needing to vent. I am well aware that so many of you have it much harder than me but I also know that this is a place where I can say it all. I am not looking for solutions just a place to vent. Thanks.