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My dad died a year ago and tomorrow is the first year anniversary of his death. He and my mom moved in with me 5 years ago. She remains with me and her health has continued to decline. She has mild dementia and is barely mobile. She can partially dress herself, feed herself and walk very short distances with a walker. She has some incontinence but we are managing that pretty well. I am just so aware this week that I never got any relief after my dad died, not the chance to grieve for him. He had very bad dementia but was mobile enough. I thought that it would be easier caring for one parent as opposed to both of them but I can't say that is the case.


I was laid off from a career long job right before they moved in and so I managed to put together some part time jobs so I could devote as much time to them as I needed. I miss my independence and my work life. Like so many of you I get complemented by friends and family for taking such good care of my parents but that never really helps. It just reinforces that I should continue to do this for as long as I can.


My husband is unhappy and pretty much closed off. He helps if I ask him but never offers support. My kids are great but they are young adults with jobs and young children who also need my help. At 66 I worry that I will never get to enjoy my imposed retirement. I am an only child without family help. I am rambling and feeling sad and just needing to vent. I am well aware that so many of you have it much harder than me but I also know that this is a place where I can say it all. I am not looking for solutions just a place to vent. Thanks.

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I'd suggest getting into day trading, or buying stocks, it has a way of using up un used knowledge and ability if you will. It might provide some sense of professional accomplishment.
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Anytime, Rosie’s mom.
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Thank you all so much for listening. I really appreciate being heard.
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So sorry. Anniversaries are hard 😞

Hugs! Cry if you need to. We are here for you.
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Dear Rosiesmom,

Please know you can always write to us and we are here to listen. Your feelings are completely understandable. The caregiving does take a toll and its so hard. We are not saints and there are days of anger, sadness and frustration and even a why me? Please know how natural and normal it is.

Thinking of you. Sending you hugs.
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I am sorry for your loss. The first year is hard it does get a little easier, and I am sorry that you are having a bad day. It is ok for you to vent and more importantly it is ok for you to have a life. How? I don't know, but I do know we have to take care of ourselves and our relationships.

Hugs!
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It is ok to have bad days and to vent, or whine, or even some days want to run away.  I am sorry you do not have support.  When my aunt reached the same stage as your mom, I made a decision about what my limit was, and stuck to it, even though I had 2 caregivers who were here for 4-5 hrs, 4 days/week total.  The transition to a nursing home was tough, as I was already sick, but she was so much better off in the one we found.  Important - start looking, and deciding on when you say no to her coming home from a hospital visit. (my aunt fell, and had TIAs)

We understand, and vent away.
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