So grateful for the kind, supportive, well written and directly loving thoughts! I am honored with the personal sharing in everyone’s responses! I certainly downloaded a lot, that when I read it again, it seems victim-like and yet a reality check on what I carry within. Our emotions that ebb and flow can seem and really are so crazy at times. Trust, self care from self worth are the diving forces that are a daily devotion and practice...and a gift from God that I still wrestle with...yet would advise anyone else to embrace, surrender, release the traumas and focus on what thoughts are creating our suffering. i am grateful to the people who truly care with courage and compassion. What we all deserve!!...and can choose to give to ourselves just as well. All my heart to all...
Well, you are one of us now. Look forward to your participation. As a caregiver yourself you will have learned much about caregiving. What works, what doesn't, what our human limitations are. Some of us have already lost the elder whose care we participated in, but we stick around to field questions from others. Some questions are simple and may involve no emotional problems, just a financial question. Some are about health. Some are about burnout. We all have different perspectives, different backgrounds, different perspectives. Where we might be of zero help of one person, we may be of help to another. So, welcome to the Forum and hope to see you in future. I read your profile and saw the word "Guilt". It is my "see red" word. Like waving a flag in front of the bull. Words have a great deal of power. We are human beings, not Gods or Saints. We have limitations. And when we bump up into those limitations we feel GRIEF, not guilt (which belongs to felons who do evil for the sheer joy of it). We grieve the losses we see our elders go through. We grieve that there is no "fix it". We grieve our limitations. I am not a believer. Not by choice, but because in all my 79 years, through many fox holes, I simply never believed. But those who are believers sometimes use the phrase "Let go and let God", meaning there are some things we cannot fix. We can pray to God to fix them for us. Or we can do the best we can. But there's just no easy fix. When you next use the word guilt I ask only that you truly examine it. What are you REALLY feel when you look at all of it? Isn't it helplessness, pain, grief? I wish you so much luck. We all muddle through this thing we have no control over the best we can, with out own beliefs (of lack of) , with our own talents (or lack of them), doing the best we can. Welcome, again.
I read your profile, and I certainly can relate to what you're going through. I hope and pray that you're taking time away for yourself to do some things that you enjoy, as that is one of the most important things you can do to maintain some kind of sanity and self worth. Being a caregiver is the hardest job I've ever done. There were many days when I didn't think I was going to make it, but for the grace of God I did. My husband(who I cared for)has been dead 8 1/2 months now, and weird as this may sound, I would give anything to care for him just one more day. I am grateful that I was able to care for him, hard as it was, until the very end. And though you may not feel it right now, Jesus is in fact at the wheel and always has been. May God bless you and keep you.
Well, many people would argue that caregiving is a privilege. I suppose that it all depends on one’s perspective on the topic.
I read your profile and it seems that you are burning out. Can you hire outside help with your parent’s funds? I really don’t know what else to suggest, unless you are able to place your parent in a facility.
honored with the personal sharing in everyone’s responses! I certainly downloaded a lot, that when I read it again, it seems victim-like and yet a reality check on what I carry within. Our emotions that ebb and flow can seem and really are
so crazy at times.
Trust, self care from self worth are the diving forces that are a daily devotion and practice...and a gift from God that I still wrestle with...yet would advise anyone else to embrace, surrender, release the traumas and focus on what thoughts are creating our suffering.
i am grateful to the people who truly care with courage and compassion.
What we all deserve!!...and can choose to give to ourselves just as well.
All my heart to all...
I read your profile and saw the word "Guilt". It is my "see red" word. Like waving a flag in front of the bull. Words have a great deal of power. We are human beings, not Gods or Saints. We have limitations. And when we bump up into those limitations we feel GRIEF, not guilt (which belongs to felons who do evil for the sheer joy of it). We grieve the losses we see our elders go through. We grieve that there is no "fix it". We grieve our limitations.
I am not a believer. Not by choice, but because in all my 79 years, through many fox holes, I simply never believed. But those who are believers sometimes use the phrase "Let go and let God", meaning there are some things we cannot fix. We can pray to God to fix them for us. Or we can do the best we can. But there's just no easy fix. When you next use the word guilt I ask only that you truly examine it. What are you REALLY feel when you look at all of it? Isn't it helplessness, pain, grief?
I wish you so much luck. We all muddle through this thing we have no control over the best we can, with out own beliefs (of lack of) , with our own talents (or lack of them), doing the best we can. Welcome, again.
Being a caregiver is the hardest job I've ever done. There were many days when I didn't think I was going to make it, but for the grace of God I did.
My husband(who I cared for)has been dead 8 1/2 months now, and weird as this may sound, I would give anything to care for him just one more day. I am grateful that I was able to care for him, hard as it was, until the very end.
And though you may not feel it right now, Jesus is in fact at the wheel and always has been. May God bless you and keep you.
I read your profile and it seems that you are burning out. Can you hire outside help with your parent’s funds? I really don’t know what else to suggest, unless you are able to place your parent in a facility.
Best wishes to you.